Last autumn, anyone even slightly online was aware of writer Chante Joseph’s Vogue story that argued having a boyfriend was the height of embarrassment. Fast forward six months, and it seems, to quote Charli XCX, “everything is romantic.” From celebrity couples to couple dressing and gushy love stories in films and TV, we’re in an era of “rom-comification.”
At the centre of it all is the rom-com guy. Adorable. Kind. Devoted. Funny. Looks good in a jumper… qualities that could be amongst the attributes a single person might look for in her perfect life partner. And if this is you, you might well find them this year—at least on screen, anyway.
Arguably, our romantic relationships have been influenced by storybook partnerships forever. See classic films written by women like 1989's When Harry Met Sally, in which the protagonists originally started as friends, and the original 2001 Bridget Jones, starring Colin Firth as a slept-on diamond of a man finally discovered after Bridget comes to her senses after entertaining a flashy Hugh Grant. And more recently, Bridgerton viewers have found themselves envying the kind of sexy, electric chemistry between Simone Ashley and Jonathan Bailey's respective characters, in part because it's grounded in the deep, soulmate-level affection that indicates something real.
This is a character we became familiar with, who has since returned to film and TV after a hiatus. From Chris Evans as the second-chance hero in Celine Song’s Materialists to Adam Brody’s sensitive rabbi in Nobody Wants This and Will Sharpe’s emotionally intelligent goth in Lena Dunham’s Too Much. The latest? Robert Pattinson as a museum director, complete with glasses and a tousled haircut, opposite Zendaya in The Drama, the new A24 film out this month.
Meanwhile, it seems art is imitating life in the celebrity-couples arena, with this so-called "rom-comification" taking place across A-list couples. Gracie Abrams and Paul Mescal resemble the loved-up heroine and hero of a movie, whether at a baseball game or the Oscars; Callum Turner and Dua Lipa are regularly spotted sharing hugs and inside jokes across holiday snaps and red carpets, and then there’s Harry Styles and Zoë Kravitz, strolling around Manhattan (peak rom-com territory) wearing matching 'fits. Whether real or fictional, it feels like the rom-com—and the rom-com guy—is so back. Previously bumped down the pecking order for those who were a bit more enigmatic and mysterious (see Adam Driver or Bradley Cooper), we’ve all realised that someone explicitly lovable and loving—what the internet often calls a “golden retriever boyfriend”—isn’t actually half bad.
Emma Firth, a writer, brand consultant and founder of literary salon Rejection is Romantic, "grew up on a cultural diet of mostly late-'80s and '90s rom-coms." She says a key attribute of the rom-com guy is wit, and this has shaped what she wants in a relationship. "A guy that has a sense of humour, a healthy level of self-awareness and a chic knitted sweater collection is more attractive than just some random hot guy," she says.
Holly Beddingfield, the woman behind the pop culture newsletter Capsule, recently wrote about how boyfriends might be becoming cool again. She points to films she watched as a teenager. “[They] very much shaped what I thought a first boyfriend should look like, and then obviously, you start going out with a guy who just loves his Xbox and it's like ‘well, I didn't think it was going to be like this.’”
Whilst Firth’s clear it’s better not to focus on finding that movie ideal, some qualities will always be big ticks. "The rom-com guys I’ve virtually crushed on over the years [have] a kindness of spirit, an emotional maturity, a lack of vanity, a deep curiosity about you, what makes you laugh, what makes you feel good," she tells me. "These are forever lovely attributes—and not crazy things to want in a life partner."
I asked my friends—in true teenage-girl fashion—who their celeb crushes are right now, and the men they've decided are their internet boyfriends fit the rom-com-guy brief. Along with Mescal and Styles, favourites include Henry Golding ("He's so charming.") and Rege-Jean Page ("Honestly, my dream man."). This "golden retriever boyfriend" title came up a lot; it’s the archetype that is defined by boundless enthusiasm, adoration for their partner and a "very good boy" type of handsomeness.
If the rom-com guy has long influenced our idea of relationships, so have celebrity unions. Beddingfield argues love is a commonality we all share. “As [celebrities’] careers develop, and their lifestyles are so worlds apart from their fans, intimate relationships are the main thing that we can all relate to,” she says. Whether David and Victoria Beckham, A$AP Rocky and Rihanna or indeed JFK Junior and Carolyn Bessette, we love to sink into a glamorous, real-life love story. Social media only adds to our drive, where we can see narratives played out with every scroll, and new and returning characters regularly populate our feeds.
Perhaps what was once “cringe” is now something to, well, embrace. After months of getting lost in the on-screen romances of Wuthering Heights, Heated Rivalry and Love Story, we want the happy ending, we want proper romance. Firth is certainly in favour of all these new celebrity PDAs. “Personally, I think the most embarrassing thing you can do in a relationship is not show up for your other half, not loudly cheer them on, not celebrate their wins and their endless support," she says. "And if these IRL rom-com moments—whether people deem them 'performative' or not—encourage a little more hand-holding and cheerleading, then I say job well done." Let the rom-comification flourish.