I'm a Mom Who Took My First Solo Retreat—Here's Everything I Experienced to Feel Like Myself Again

I hadn’t traveled for pleasure alone in over two years since becoming a mom. Before that, it was something I did often; something that made me feel grounded, independent, me. Somewhere between routines, responsibilities, and pouring into everyone else, I realized I hadn’t poured into myself in a while. I refused to be a victim of "mom guilt," so I decided to take a solo retreat and be in nature. I chose Mountain Shadows Resort in Scottsdale as my destination. No expectations, no pressure … just space and touching grass (well, really it was, desert sand).

I didn’t go to "find myself." I just wanted to feel like myself again. Turns out, it’s the little things that brought me back. Here’s what helped this busy parent slow down.

Honestly, I sold myself a dream going into this. When I found out the hotel had "phone lock boxes" in each room, I thought that I would go completely off-grid. I did not get exactly there, but I landed somewhere close enough. I stopped reaching for my phone every quiet moment and let myself just be. At first, it felt uncomfortable—like I was missing something. Eventually, though, the noise in my head softened. I had a few check-ins with my family to make sure everything was running smoothly on the East Coast. I had a few meetings and work calls, but immediately after, I would turn my phone on airplane mode or lock it away. Which, as a NYC fashion mom who is self-employed, is abnormal.

Without constant scrolling, I started noticing more of my thoughts, my feelings, even the way time slowed down. It reminded me how disconnected I’d become from myself—from the present moment—without even realizing it.

One thing I set as an intention was that during this trip, I would give myself permission to receive instead of giving. Which is harder than it might seem, even though I am a Leo who loves to receive gifts, etc. My mind has been running a mile a minute, balancing an ever-growing and changing career, a growing and energetic toddler, a home and relationship that needs TLC too, not to mention my ongoing to-do list.

With all that to juggle, it can be hard to find clarity. When I found out the resort offers in-room reiki and sound bath through its Citizens Curator offerings, I booked immediately. I started with Goodnight Reiki on the first night. It was a 50-minute soothing meditation and Reiki session designed to ease overstimulation, reduce emotional overload, and prepare your body for true rest. I fell asleep during the session and stayed asleep through the night. I cannot tell you the last time I have had rest like that, or even slept through an entire night. On the last day of the trip, I ended it with a sound bath before dinner. The stillness of the sound bath felt like layers I didn’t know I was carrying started to loosen, and I got clarity on so many lingering questions.

I didn’t have some dramatic, life-altering revelation, but I did feel lighter, more open, clearer, and more powerful—like something shifted internally, even if I can’t fully explain it yet.

I'll admit that I'm guilty of not paying attention to what I am eating when I am busy. I either skip meals or eat what is in front of me, which is not always the healthiest. As someone who loves food and appreciates a fine-dining experience, I have not had time to treat myself to nice meals lately. There’s something different about eating when you’re actually present. No rushing, no multitasking; just nourishing my body with intention. So, I was intentional with what I ate on this trip. The open kitchen concept at Hearth ’61 was a great way to remind myself of the intention behind preparing meals and the care that goes into it, and made it even more satisfying to eat. I went a little heavy on the protein when ordering since that was stuck in my head from my last doomscroll before locking my phone away.

The experience of eating alone without rushing made me realize how often I treat meals like an afterthought. Slowing down reminded me that taking care of myself doesn’t have to be complicated—just consistent.

Along with taking the time to enjoy my meals, the art of going on solo dates with myself added to the experience. I got dressed up with nowhere to be but with myself, and somehow, that felt important. When I am not dressed up for work, I am in my neighborhood running errands and doing school pick-up like a troll (which was never my personality). Dressing up for me on this trip wasn’t about impressing anyone. It was not for a work event, to be on camera, or to have my picture taken. It was about reminding myself that I’m allowed to feel beautiful, confident, and seen, even when no one’s watching—especially then.

As most busy parents often struggle to find time to work out, I am not an outlier. The demanding schedule, the caregiving responsibilities, and my very limited personal time do not always allow me to fit in something that historically has been very important to me. Although I know exercise is important to my mental health, I still end up skipping workouts more often than not, and running around in this concrete jungle has me so out of touch with nature that I jumped at the chance to reconnect. I love hiking, and whenever I'm on the West Coast, I fit my hikes in. No headphones, no distractions—just me, my breath, and my steps. I was inspired to hike Camelback Mountain alone. I woke up at 5 a.m. and started my journey, and I finished. I thought I would get halfway up and turn around, but I did not, and I feel so grateful that I pushed myself.

Being in nature felt like a reset I didn’t know I needed. It gave me space to think and also space not to think. Both felt equally important.

There is something so healing about no background noise, no constant stimulation—just stillness. I didn’t realize how rarely things are truly quiet in my household, but also in NYC. I really wanted to take the time to sit with that stillness, to not feel the need to make a call, to listen to a podcast, or find myself doing busywork. I wanted to make sure I was able to take in this time alone and hear my thoughts. So I sat in nature, by the pool, ate alone, woke up early to meditate, and ended the evening by the firepit.

At first, the stillness felt unfamiliar. But eventually, it became comforting—like I was finally catching up with myself.

Doing things alone—and on purpose—is what has been missing for a while. Pre-motherhood, I had all the alone time I could desire: every coffee, every walk, most meals—it was just me.

That’s what this trip reminded me of, that feelings of enjoying your own company instead of feeling lonely; it felt intentional. I remembered that my own company is enough. More than enough, actually. None of this was extravagant or life-changing on the surface, but somehow, it changed something in me. I didn’t embark on this trip to come back as a new person; I just wanted to feel like a more connected version of who I already was.

And maybe that’s the real reset.

Here are a few travel-friendly items that got me through this self-care trip: