"Perfection Is Bullshit:" Kelly Rowland on Individuality, Confidence, and Trusting Her Gut

Kelly Rowland has quite the résumé: singer, songwriter, actor, philanthropist, and one-third of the iconic girl group Destiny's Child. She's also a businesswoman, a mother, and, most recently, the newest global ambassador for Olay. It's safe to say she knows a thing or two about balancing a busy schedule, especially right now, as she fine-tunes her first full-length studio album since Talk a Good Game was released in 2013.

Her life demands time management and prioritization, even when it comes to self-care. As she emphatically tells me, "Rest is a big thing in my world right now." The same goes for her skincare routine. As an Olay Super Serum ($30) devotee, she keeps her a.m. routine surprisingly simple, focusing only on what really counts. Ahead, Rowland shares an inside look at her self-care routine, her favorite wellness ritual, and the number one piece of advice she would offer all women.

When Rowland joins me on a video call, she greets me with a wide smile. She instantly strikes me as warm, confident, and thoughtful—exactly how I thought (and hoped) she would be. As a millennial, I've witnessed much of Rowland's career ever since I first popped Destiny's Child's Survivor into my silver Sony CD player. (There also may or may not have been a 12 x 16 Destiny's Child poster pinned on a wall in my childhood home, but that's neither here nor there.) Sitting face to face, albeit virtually, was slightly surreal.

I was speaking with Rowland about her partnership with Olay, which she says happened organically. She grew up seeing her family members use it, and it's now Rowland's turn to experience a surreal moment. "When I was 5 or 6, I would look at my great-aunt's perfume and little bottles of Oil of Olay. I didn't know that we would have this really cool full-circle moment and I would get the opportunity to work with them," she tells me.

Rowland heard about Olay's Super Serum and wanted to try it. The brand sent it to her, and the rest is history. "I believe it's such an attainable luxury brand that all women can have," she says. "[We] get this opportunity to feel a little bit more beautiful and cared for. I think it's been a part of our lives for so long—Olay as a brand. It's really cool to be a part of the team now."

Since the partnership began, Rowland has expanded her personal Olay collection. She names Olay's Super Serum Glow Remix Body Wash ($14), specifically. "I really love it. It really is your moment in the shower. It invigorates you. Your skin feels amazing. I've believed in it from the first time I tried it, and I love how it smells. To me, scent is everything because it's the first layer of whatever else you put on your body," she says.

Olay's Super Serum line is structured around simplicity. Each multitasking product contains a blend of active ingredients to target a variety of skin concerns. They're designed to be one-and-done products, which seems to be a concept that appeals to Rowland. Her routine is simple, effective, and focused.

"On a morning where I'm just waking up and trying to head out the door, I get up and brush my teeth," she says. "I have a whole thing when it comes to brushing my teeth right now because I'm into this water-pick-and-floss thing. I floss for real with floss sticks, I floss with the Waterpik, I brush my teeth, I scrape my tongue, and I do mouthwash. I try to do something else while I'm doing that too. When my mouthwash is in, that's when I'm washing my face. After that, I do a serum on my face for the day. I do sunscreen as well. I swear by sunscreen. I wear sunscreen every day, and then I'm out the door."

When I ask what sunscreen she uses, Rowland tells me she's been known to mix it up. Lately, though, it's been EltaMD's tinted formula or the Control Corrective Oil-Free SPF 30 ($38), which she got from her aesthetician, Shani Darden.

Rowland's nighttime routine is slower, more involved, and more relaxed. "That's my self-care time, even if I have 20 minutes and I'm exhausted," she says. "I don't care what situation I'm in. I'm going to wash my face. There has never been a time when I haven't." And forget double cleansing. Rowland triple-cleanses her skin every single day. She continues, "I do a triple wash. If I'm washing off makeup, I'll use an oil cleanser. Then I'll do a wash, and then I do another wash. Then, I pour everything back into my skin, from toners to serums. I like to do a nice little spray at the end." Don't worry—I asked. She loves Caudalie's iconic Beauty Elixir Face Mist ($49) or a simple rose-water spray that she keeps in a "really pretty" bottle.

While certainly important, skincare isn't the only form of self-care, and Rowland relies on a few other simple techniques to keep herself feeling her best. The tricky part? Finding the time for it. "I try to find it. All of us do. Sometimes, in the midst of a busy week, a walk is definitely helpful. That helps to calm my body. A walk and breathing, simple stuff, meditation, praying—that helps," she says.

She turns to two wellness rituals for extra support: a dry infrared sauna, which she calls game-changing, and a red-light mask. "The red-light mask by Shani Darden is my favorite thing ever," she says. "I didn’t know how much better it could make my skin. I do it at night after I've done all of my skin treatments and everything, and then I wear the mask and go to sleep. I wake up, and my skin looks different in the morning. It genuinely does. It just looks hydrated and refreshed, and it's done the job for you after you get all the tools in place to be great. It's like, 'Yeah, I'll be great today.'"

Most of all, though, she prioritizes sleep. "I believe in rest. I like seven to eight hours of sleep. I'm a much more pleasant person when I get seven to eight hours, and you can feel the difference. I can see the difference in my skin. It's a game changer. Rest is a game changer," she says.

Rowland's self-care routine wasn't always so airtight. "I remember being younger and thinking some things didn't affect your skin, like excessive sun or a lack of drinking water," she says. "The older you get, the more you realize you can't do some of the things you did when you were 20. I think between that and just being really confident in the skin that I'm in and being able to rest… Rest! I'm telling you, rest is a big thing in my world right now."

"Oh, and I love fun," Rowland adds excitedly. "A glow-up is a fun time. It's smiles. It's laughter. That's wellness. That's also healing your body in a spiritual and social way. You also need that!"

I thank her for that reminder. In today's self-optimization culture, fun isn't always listed as a wellness technique, though it should be. Rowland agrees. "Surrounding yourself with positive people that pour into your spirit, the way you view yourself, and whether you're taking care of your mental health—all these things pour into wellness and living this life that you really deserve to live. If you treat people well and treat yourself well, you can tell. You wear a different kind of oomph," she says.

Since the days of Destiny's Child, Rowland and her bandmates Beyoncé and Michelle Williams have been almost synonymous with confidence—a solid, unshakeable kind that doesn't shout yet doesn't shrink either. I'm curious what advice she would give to a 20-something who's on the path to discovering their own. "Perfection is bullshit," she answers. "Allow yourself to make mistakes. Give yourself grace when it comes to mistakes. I think that mistakes get a real tough rap sometimes, but they actually set the foundation for how you make other decisions in the future."

"Trust your gut," she continues. "Your gut is the greatest compass you will ever have. And know that everywhere you walk, it is a privilege to be there. But it's also a privilege, for whatever social setting you're in, for them to have you. So thank you, and you're welcome."

It's an iconic answer, and I tell her as much. However, I'm curious if she has any advice for someone in their 30s (like me) who doesn't have it all figured out. She laughs, "I'm 45, and I'm still figuring it out." I breathe out a long breath. It's an honest, oddly comforting response.

Before the video call ends, I sneak in one last question—a burning question. What is Rowland's unfiltered beauty philosophy? She sits back and thinks for just a moment. "It's not really here," she says while circling her face with her hand. "You know what I mean? I used to think that pretty was cool. Pretty is bullshit. Sorry, pretty is BS. Be better than pretty. Be interesting. Be intriguing. That's beautiful to me. Have great conversations. Know about the world. Another one would be [to] know what you bring to the table. Don't try to look like nobody else. Between AI and people getting caught up in beauty trends… The trend should be whatever your thing is that you do. That's the coolest, trendiest, flyest thing ever. Trends come and go. Don't be doing what everybody's doing in the moment. Be timeless."

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