It’s no secret that we have a serious online shopping habit. As such, we thought it might be amusing to write a little love letter, detailing all the reasons we’re internet shoppers for life. Click through to check out our rationale for why we’ll always choose to exercise our retail impulses online. We bet you’ll be nodding your head the whole way through.
Or no pants at all. This is called freedom, and it’s exactly why we love the Internet.
Clipping physical coupons to use at a physical store seems like a hassle. Have you seen those women on Extreme Couponing? They clip coupons like it’s their job, because, well, it is. In the words of Sweet Brown: “Ain’t nobody got time for that.” But searching for a quick discount code online? We’re all about it.
How fun? Let’s just say we sing: “We just got a package. We just got a package” à la Steve on Blues Clues every time one of our shopping spoils arrives. There may or may not also be a dance routine to said song.
As we have learned the hard way, HR frowns upon taking a two-hour trip to the mall during lunch. But does your boss have to know about a little 15-minute cruise around Shopbop.com? If you don’t tell, neither will we…
Online stores never close. If you can’t sleep, at least you can shop!
We’re going to go ahead and pass on staging a power struggle with the cashier. Email order confirmations for the win!
And if there are, well, that sounds like a personal problem.
Rule #1 of shopping in stores: never engage with salespeople. If you want to see their selection of mohair sweaters, you’re on your own. Meanwhile, a quick and easy online search is a snap.
Some sites don’t make us pay tax. We don’t know why, and we’re not asking questions.
If you were to loudly yell out for other customers’ opinions on your purchase, security might be compelled to remove you from the store. We’d so much rather scroll through reviews to inform our shopping decisions.