When the history books record the events of 2025, there will undoubtedly be a great deal to chronicle. But when it comes to the fashion of the time, it’s safe to say that no one did it better this year than the array of best-dressed celebrity couples of 2025. This year, unlike any other that has come before it, has been a watershed moment for the stars who remain true to the adage that dressing together means you stay together.

Hollywood is certainly no stranger to pairings who prop one another up via stunt dressing (Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake’s matching denim outfits at the 2001 American Music Awards), bold sartorial swings (Pamela Anderson’s pink fluffy hat and Tommy Lee’s Burberry trench coat at the 1999 VMAs) or entirely harmonious ensembles (Zendaya and Tom Holland’s twinning burgundy looks for an evening out in NYC in 2024).

Yet, in 2025, it appears that couples dressing in all its forms has never been more popular. It’s not just a case of copying exactly what your partner was wearing, despite there being a lot of that over the last twelve months, or stepping out in something so polar opposite to your significant other that you stoke ire. No, instead, 2025 was a year where couples honed their public image through the garments they wore.

As always, there are couples who did this well, and couples where this attempt to cement themselves in the mainstream through clothing certainly slightly backfired. Ultimately, what was gleaned this year is that couples dressing isn’t just about making us covet the person they’re with. Instead, it’s about coveting the wardrobes they share. So, without further ado, uncover the 11 best-dressed celebrity couples for 2025 ahead.

The 11 Best-Dressed Celebrity Couples of 2025

1. Kylie Jenner and Timothée Chalamet

Style Notes: At the tail end of 2025, Timothée Chalamet delivered the most romantic public display of affection for Kylie Jenner: Dedicating a verse to her on his remix of Liverpool-based rapper EsDeeKid’s single “4 Raws”. This cultural moment came on the heels of a mammoth press tour in the lead-up to the release of A24’s Marty Supreme, a new kind of sports drama that sees the Academy Award-nominee lead Josh Safdie’s first solo film as a director as a fictionalised version of New York table tennis champion Martin Reisman. Part of the promotional run saw Chalamet and Jenner take couple dressing to new heights by showing up to the movie’s Los Angeles premiere in matching ping pong ball tangerine-coloured sets from Chrome Hearts. Giving Hermes orange a run for its money, the outing not only marked a major step in the couple’s relationship, but also an incredible entry in the annals of pop culture. The couple began the year with a slew of red carpet appearances at Hollywood’s biggest events, including the Oscars and Golden Globes, so, ending it with an excursion so dramatic as this only feels right.

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2. Zoë Kravitz and Harry Styles

Style Notes: Despite only being together for a few months, Zoë Kravitz and Harry Styles have made their romance more akin to a jet-setting spectacular than anything else. Whilst the best-dressed celebrity couples would traditionally utilise the step-and-repeat to display their complementary style, Kravitz and Styles have gone the opposite route, opting for more quotidian and quieter showcases that position themselves as the most relatable stars yet; regular, familiar and domestic. From the concrete avenues of New York to the cobblestone streets of Rome and the gateways of Berlin, the actress and the singer have provided nothing short of a masterclass in a shared wardrobe along every stop of their international affair. Of course, when your closets both heavily feature pieces from luxuriates like The Row, sharing is certainly always caring.

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3. Rihanna and A$AP Rocky

Style Notes: Six years, three children, and one nuptials-themed music video later, A$AP Rocky and Rihanna are stronger than ever. On a romantic level, this is certainly true, but when it comes to the couple’s sartorial liaisons, it could not be more fitting. The couple began by presenting their approach to trail style with impeccable tailoring and matching suits before taking things to the red carpet for the ultimate bad girl’s return to the screens with Smurfs. She might’ve been lending her voice to a children’s film, but she didn’t let her little blue persona stop her from wearing masterpieces from Chanel, Saint Laurent, Alaia and more. (The Fenty Beauty founder also dressed her sons in miniature versions of Jonathan Anderson’s debut menswear collection for Dior for the occasion.) Later, she welcomed the couple’s daughter, Irish Rocky Meyers, dripping in an Audemars Piguet Royal Oak rose gold watch valued upwards of £25,000. Then, to conclude the year, they took to the awards season circuit to promote the rapper’s role in Spike Lee’s crime thriller Highest 2 Lowest. See: A custom pink Balenciaga ball gown and feathered hat for her, and a Mattieu Blazy for Chanel three-piece for him.

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4. Victoria Beckham and David Beckham

Style Notes: From Posh and Becks to Sir David and Lady Victoria. Oh, how time flies. With the couple celebrating their 26th wedding anniversary earlier this year, the couple’s approach to dressing is proof that good things come with age. They might’ve shed their harmonious purple bridal outfits, WAG-era micro denim shorts and pop star leather looks for something more demure, but they still will always deliver an ensemble worth taking note of. Case in point: The monochromatic silhouettes for the premiere of Victoria’s self-titled Netflix docuseries, the soiree-ready pieces for the former footballer’s 50th birthday and the regal regalia donned for David’s investiture ceremony as a knight back in November.

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5. Lana Del Rey and Jeremy Dufrene

Style Notes: Throughout Lana Del Rey’s entire discography, you can find depictions of great love stories soundtracked to her signature melancholic and diaristic sonic landscape. How fitting then, that in 2024, the songstress made her own entry into this canon of eminent American romances by wedding Cajun swamp tour boat operator, Jeremy Dufrene. She sings on sold-out tours at iconic venues and music festivals. He takes tourists and locals out to alligator swaps in the Louisiana bayou. As a result, their style couldn’t be more disparate. But it’s this discordance that makes them all the more compelling as a couple. Back in September, the newlyweds proved this point entirely when they attended Alessandro Michele’s most recent collection presentation as creative director of Valentino during the spring/summer 2026 season of Paris Fashion Week. The Grammy Award-nominated artist looked like a vision of Vivien Leigh in a dusty lilac dress featuring faux-fur straps, while her husband looked totally himself and straight out of the Mississippi Delta, complete with a baseball cap and upside-down Oakleys. As she told W Magazine what he would say to her: “You be you—and I’ll just love you more.”

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6. Hailey Bieber and Justin Bieber

Style Notes: Appearing on every best-dressed couples list since they started dating in 2015, Hailey and Justin Bieber have been a fashion fixture for ten years in a row. This year, however, marked a new chapter for the pair. Mr Bieber returned to the studio with back-to-back releases featuring crooning ballads to his wife. (“Daisies” and “Yukon”, to name a few.) Mrs Bieber became a billionaire after selling her skincare empire, Rhode Beauty, to e.l.f Cosmetics and launching into Sephora nationwide across the US and UK. Together, they celebrated the first birthday of their nepo baby scion, Jack Blues. Doing it all with style, albeit a topic that’s still somewhat controversial even a decade on, every date night or public appearance was a display of their unharmonious dress sense. Still, we wouldn’t change it for the world. Because who else can give us an oversized leopard print coat and mini dress alongside a baggy hoodie and track pants?

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7. Kaia Gerber and Lewis Pullman

Style Notes: Kaia Gerber’s relationship history has always seen her on the side of burgeoning members of Young Hollywood. But as a supermodel, nascent actress and bibliophile in her own right, the star has come into her own in 2025. Doing so, she stepped out with a new beau, actor Lewis Pullman, bringing her newfound sense of assuredness, maturity and elegance to their couple's dressing. At the 2025 Venice Film Festival, the duo hard-launched their relationship with several sights across the picturesque canals. Doing so in Sarah Burton’s creations for Givenchy, balmy pieces from Australian resortwear brand With Jéan and eyewear from Khaite’s collaboration with Oliver Peoples, the new era marked a confident and refined approach to fashion that marked this new stage in her career and courtships.

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8. Margaret Qualley and Jack Antonoff

Style Notes: Following their casual 2023 wedding on the New Jersey coastline, Margaret Qualley and Jack Antonoff have remained a mainstay within the industry. Now, riding on the success of The Substance and following on from the release of Honey Don’t, the Chanel actress has shed any remnants of her young, ingénue persona with more theatrical and striking ensembles that reflect her flourishing career. In custom creations from Virginie Viard and Mattieu Blazy, Qualley has embodied modern glamour and heavenly beauty in every step. For his part, the acclaimed music producer has stayed true to his North Eastern roots with loose tailoring and oversized shapes.

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9. Paul Mescal and Gracie Abrams

Style Notes: Paul Mescal and Gracie Abrams officially went public with their relationship on the fields of Somerset following a five-day stint at Glastonbury. With it, their hard-launch brought a revived appeal for bandanas, loose maxi dresses and a music festival Instagram dump. Despite maintaining their privacy, this rare glimpse into their relationship, and consequent couple style, was one that merited the wait. In matching Adidas trousers—three-inch inseam shorts for him and three-stripe trackpants for her—skin-tight white t-shirts and nonchalant accessories, the couple proved that despite their rare outings together, there is nothing overstyled or finicky about them. Normal people, indeed.

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10. Dua Lipa and Callum Turner

Style Notes: Dua Lipa and Callum Turner stay booked and busy. As the songstress said in a recent Instagram post, the passport stays packed, meaning that any street corner, new destination or exotic locale could serve as a backdrop for their couple dressing. Aside from Lipa’s global stadium tour that saw them visit Australia, Brazil and Mexico (to name a few), the couple spent most of their downtime close to home in Hampstead Heath. Both raised in London, their style borders on some of the more experimental and street-focused than any other couple on this list. Never one to shy from an independent designer, small brand or British label, the couple are the definition of hometown pride.

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11. Leighton Meester and Adam Brody

Style Notes: He might appear on the award-nominated show Nobody Wants This, but when it comes to the couple style between Leighton Meester and Adam Brody, that adage couldn’t be further from the truth. Both breaking through to mainstream success with teen dramas in the early 2000s (Gossip Girl and The O.C., respectively), the married couple feels like a marker of a different time in Hollywood. Rather than gushing social media carousels and regular sightings at trending restaurants across Los Feliz and Silver Lake (an homage to Meester’s role on Rachel Sennott's now-titled HBO series I Love LA), we instead get glimpses of them when out on the red carpet at industry events. Wearing designers like Prada, Versace and Jaquemus might also heal our inner teenagers, because Seth Cohen and Blair Waldorf, forever.

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Who was your best-dressed celebrity couple for 2025? Let us know in the poll, below!

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The sexual wellness industry has really grown and evolved in the past couple of years. I think a lot of that is due to the fact that there are so many cool and inspiring brands that are trying to make sex less of a taboo subject these days. Many people are being more honest about sex, relationships, and self-love. Even celebrities are jumping on the sexual wellness train. In fact, Cara Delevingne is now the co-owner and creative advisor of Lora DiCarlo, and Dakota Johnson joined Maude as co-creative director and investor.

Dame Products CEO Alexandra Fine told us in another piece that people are beginning to see how sexual pleasure and pleasure products are part of our general health and wellness experience. Sexual wellness affects other parts of our health.

"The sex industry is on a swing from a male-centric vice industry to a femme-led wellness industry, and that's a pretty big change," she said. "Sex is also becoming a more public part of everyday conversation, which helps shed light on high-quality products within the industry. We're seeing a more open discussion in pop culture as well, which helps validate and sanction products that were once shamed. Beyond that, the rise of technological advancements in the space continues to demonstrate that these products are just as sophisticated and thoughtfully made as those in any other category."

It's a very exciting time in this space. As we look forward to the industry growing even more, we wanted to highlight some of our favorite sexual wellness products at the moment below. If you have a product you want to recommend, send us a DM or comment on Instagram.

Lubes and Oils

Vibrators and Massagers

Personal Care and Protection

Next: The 8 Best All-Natural Lubes, Hands Down

This article was originally published at an earlier date and has since been updated.

This article is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to be used in the place of advice of your physician or other medical professionals. You should always consult with your doctor or healthcare provider first with any health-related questions.

Any single person knows that dating is hard in "normal" life, but when you add a global pandemic into the mix, well, it just gets way more complicated. Speaking as an unattached person in quarantine, I've definitely had my ups and downs. There have been moments where I've been perfectly fine with being single and quarantining alone, and I have enjoyed the freedom that comes along with that—you get to do whatever you want to do! Order any takeout your heart desires! Sprawl out on your bed and hog all the pillows and blankets!

But there have also been moments of extreme loneliness where an Instagram black hole will get me thinking about how fun it would be to quarantine with someone you love and days when I actually crave cuddling with someone. (It's important to note that I am 100% not the most touchy-feely person on this planet.) And of course, there have been a lot of trials and tribulations when I make an effort to open the dating apps. It's been a lot of messaging that leads to nowhere.

The added complications to dating during a global pandemic seem endless. It's harder to chat with someone on an app and meet up for a drink at a crowded bar the next day. There are a lot of questions that come up. "Are you social distancing?" "Who do you see regularly?" "Do you wear a mask?" A lot more effort goes into a first date than in "normal" times. For many people, the vetting process is a lot more extensive.

And everyone's opinions on dating are different during this time. Some people are dating and meeting up with people (hopefully as safely as possible). Some people have sworn it off until this is all over. And others might be just doing the virtual-dates thing. But one thing's for sure: Dating apps are pretty much the only place to connect with someone at the moment.

Ultimately, whether you decide to date right now depends on your own personal preferences and your own comfort levels, which isn't very different from pre-pandemic life. It's okay to try to look for potential partners right now just the same way it's okay to take a break and deal with some other things that might be happening in your life. We're all trying to get through this time in whatever way we can, so what's helpful for you might be different from what's helpful for your friends.

But if you do want to date, all hope is not exactly lost, according to Logan Ury, Hinge's director of relationship science and author of How to Not Die Alone. "People can still have a great love life despite the pandemic!" she says. "There has been a huge boom in virtual dating, so users are still finding ways to date in safe and creative ways. We predict that daters will continue to turn to online dating to meet new people outside of their usual community. In fact, 78% of Hinge users reported they expect to meet their match in 2021 through dating apps. As you navigate the new dating landscape, don’t rush it! There’s no set amount of time it takes to connect with someone, so make sure you don’t get caught up in comparing others around you."

To help you navigate the dating apps in quarantine, Ury shared some dating tips to keep in mind. (A lot of this advice can be applied to post-pandemic life, too.)

1. Don't Be Discouraged

Ury says this is one of the top pieces of advice she's given during this time. "While the pandemic brought a lot of things to a halt, it didn't stop dating!" she says. "At Hinge, we've seen people invest even more effort into their dating lives. Last year inspired our users to slow down, reflect on who they're looking for, and date in new ways."

2. Don't Overthink It

Easier said than done, right? But this can help. Ury said that a top 2021 dating resolution for Hinge users was not to overthink their dating lives and to be more in the moment when they find a relationship. Overthinking can sometimes lead to things that could stall a budding relationship, like self-doubt or projecting.

3. Be Honest With Yourself

Relationship experts have said that this slower time can be the perfect opportunity to really think about what you want in a relationship and a partner. Self-reflection can be a powerful tool. "Before you jump back into dating, you should take some time for self-reflection and diagnose your bad dating habits," Ury says. "What are the patterns and behaviors that have been holding you back? Are you too picky? Not picky enough? Ask some close friends for feedback if you're struggling to identify these on your own. Commit to breaking these habits as you start dating again."

4. Be Clear and Intentional

And when you have an idea about what you are looking for, you can be more intentional with your dating behaviors. "With the pandemic being a long period of positive behavior reinforcement, we are encouraging users to embrace this newly found intentionality and be more straightforward with their intentions as they reenter the dating world," Ury says.

5. Cultivate Positivity

"This has been a difficult time for everyone, so it's more important than ever to make self-care and mental health a priority when dating," Ury says. "Mindset matters! Whether you think the date will go well or you think the date will go poorly, you're right. Stay positive as you put yourself out there."

6. Keep an Open Mind

When I asked Ury for some smart ways to navigate the apps, she recommended keeping an open mind. That can be hard for some people (like myself), who might be stuck on looking for a certain "type." "Can you increase your age minimums and maximums? Expand your geographic radius by a few miles/kilometers? Allow yourself to be surprised by who you connect with when you broaden your horizons," she explains. Hearing that did make me think that maybe I was closing myself off from some opportunities.

7. Refresh Your Profile

Your profile might need a refresh. The best advice? Be yourself. "Include photos and prompt responses that show us who you are and what makes you unique," Ury says. "Think of your profile as your opening line. Include specific things that you enjoy talking about because that's what your matches will engage you on!"

When it comes to photos, variety is key, and you want to represent all sides of your personality. Ury recommends adding a mix of photos that show humor and vulnerability. She also says that photos featuring events and activities tend to do well. Show people what you love about yourself.

And be specific with your wording. "This helps you stand out from the crowd and show the real you," she explains. "For example, instead of saying, 'I want someone who doesn't take themselves too seriously,' say, 'I'm looking for someone who loves puns and singing during car rides as much as I do."

8. Send That Message

Sometimes, you've got to shoot your shot, right? According to Ury, your best chance at getting a response on Hinge is sending a message within 24 hours of matching with someone. For conversation starters, she recommends asking them questions and starting to discover who they are beyond their profile.

What gets tricky, especially in pandemic dating, is you could find yourself messaging back and forth with someone for a really long time but feel like you're going nowhere. Ury suggests keeping in mind the messaging sweet spot. "Four to five days of chatting before you initiate the date is often the ideal timing," Ury says. "It gives you enough time to build that foundation of trust, but it's not so long that the momentum drops off." And the first date doesn't have to be in person. Technology really makes it easy to do video chats.

9. Keep in Mind These Messaging Dos and Don'ts

When it comes to messaging someone, Ury recommends not taking forever to respond. "Don't play the waiting game and allow too much time to go by in between messages," she says. "You want to keep the momentum going and respond to text messages as soon as possible. Successful daters are responsive and keep the conversation going."

She suggests asking thoughtful questions and skipping the small talk. "Don't ask someone cliché questions like, 'How was your day?' We're in a pandemic—the days are the same!" she says. "Instead, you can ask them about something you noticed on their profile to learn more about who they are."

10. Try a Virtual Date

Virtual dates are pretty much the norm these days, and Ury says they're here to stay. "While not identical to seeing someone in person, a video date gives you the chance to explore someone's personality, the sound of their voice, what makes them laugh, and what makes them tick," she says.

If you're worried about it being uncomfortable, Ury adds that it might be less awkward than expected. She says 67% of Hinge users said they found their video date more natural than they thought it would be, and 81% said their dates were not at all awkward.

It helps to remember that we're all figuring out virtual dating, so a little bit of compassion and understanding for yourself and others might make things better.

11. Make Your Boundaries Clear

As things start to open up more, you might find yourself venturing out on in-person dates again (while still following COVID-19 guidelines). When that time comes, Ury says the best approach would be to make your expectations and boundaries clear from the start and to not feel pressured to do anything you're not comfortable with. "One of the most important things for couples to learn how to do is have hard conversations and navigate differences, so this is an opportunity for them to experience that early on and see how they do," she explains. "Before COVID, couples would not have a 'hard conversation' until the DTR (define the relationship) stage, but now, there is a new relationship milestone that happens earlier—an early conversation in which you discuss how you're approaching COVID safety precautions. This is a silver lining because we've found our users are becoming increasingly skilled at navigating challenging conversations earlier, a necessary skill for all successful long-term relationships."

Next up: Here's How to Navigate Your Sex Life in Quarantine, According to the Experts

This article is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to be used in the place of advice of your physician or other medical professionals. You should always consult with your doctor or healthcare provider first with any health-related questions.

We're about a year into this pandemic and quarantine, and we're all aware that our lives have changed pretty drastically. Many of us have been fortunate enough to be able to work from home but have had to adjust to video meetings and a new type of work/life balance. We've had to make adjustments in our home lives, too. And we've had to deal with so many stressors—concerns about finances, health, society, and politics, just to name a few.

Our relationships also have changed at this time, especially in the sex and intimacy department. Both those who are coupled up and those who are single have experienced a difference. Whether you're in a long-term partnership or just started dating, whether you have kids or not, and whether you live alone or with others… Everyone has probably felt a shift. We might not all have had the same experiences at this time, but the change is there.

"It's tempting to generalize, but sex and intimacy have changed in different ways for different people," explains Isharna Walsh, CEO and founder of sexual wellness app Coral. "Some people may be having more sex, although many are having less. I think one generalization that we can make, however, is that the pandemic is stressful for everyone, no matter your relationship or family status. People are worried about the virus. Many have financial concerns. The ongoing uptick in stress affects our interest in sex negatively. In short, these aren't sexy times. It takes that much more effort—worthwhile effort, considering what we know about sexual wellness and its importance to quality of life—to make sex a priority."

But while we are in quarantine with a lot of other stressors, concerns, and uncertainty, paying attention to your sexual wellness is still important. Britney Blair, PsyD, leading clinical psychologist and co-founder of sexual wellness app Lover, says that we spend a lot of time talking about nutrition, exercise, and sleep, but very few of us talk about sexual wellness, even though a vast majority of us are sexual beings. "Most Americans' sex education comes from porn, and no one is taught about how to experience more pleasure in bed or how to be a better lover," she says. "For most of us, sex is an important part of our self-esteem or confidence, and all of our data suggests it is crucial to the health of a long-term relationship."

During these tough times, sometimes, it can feel a bit "frivolous" to feel sexy or think about your sexual needs when there are other things to worry about. But you shouldn't feel guilty about it. "Sex is the act that you engage in, whereas sexuality often is who we are from birth till death. It's how we interact with others, is how we adorn ourselves," explains Donna Oriowo, LICSW, MEd, CST, owner and lead therapist of AnnodRight. "And I would say that, even in quarantine, sexuality is important because you still get to address your body for what it is that you're wanting to do or how it is that you're wanting to engage. Sometimes, you just want to feel sexy. Sometimes, you're feeling very into what you look like—you're feeling yourself. And there's nothing wrong with that and holding space for that energy and honoring that energy."

Paying attention to your sexual wellness right now doesn't mean you have to re-create your pre-pandemic sex life. How could you do that when so much of life has changed? A lot of it might involve looking at sex and intimacy a little bit differently while considering your needs.

Oriowo recommends looking at the pleasures that can be found in your relationship or singleness or pleasures that can be found with your children or your childlessness. Look at the pleasures you can get delivered to your house—the pleasures of cultivating your space.

You can get real with yourself about your own particular circumstances, too. "A big part of this may be acceptance—that this year may not be the peak of sexual enjoyment and pleasure, and that is okay!" says Briony Leo, PsyD, head coach and licensed psychologist at relationship coaching company Relish. "Many couples worry that they are not having enough sex, but really, if both people are satisfied with the amount, that is what matters. For single people, being able to accept that dating or finding a partner might be a lot harder right now can help, too, and it is okay to put that on hold and work on another part of their lives."

To get more guidance on how to navigate sex and intimacy at this time, I asked the experts for some tips for both couples and singles, so everyone's covered here. Take a look below for what they had to say.

For Couples

"We recently conducted a Relationship Health Report with 1736 respondents and found that couples are having 15% less sex than pre-COVID—but that there wasn't a difference between how much sex we're having and how much we want to be having!" Leo says. "We took this to mean that the impact of the past year—stress, poorer mental health, adjusting to being at home and in the company of your partner more than usual—has dampened our libidos and made sex less of a priority." Leo adds that people said they were more comfortable with telling their partners how they feel, which may mean greater emotional intimacy and vulnerability in couples.

But of course, one couple's experience during the pandemic is probably different than another couple's. Kate Balestrieri, PsyD, a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist, says she's seen a whole spectrum of experiences and that a lot of it depends on the quality of the relationship before the pandemic started. "I've seen couples really flourish together and deepen their love and their commitment and their emotional and sexual intimacy," she says. "I have also seen couples who have had kind of the revelation that maybe they're not as good of a fit as they thought because either they deal with what's going on in the world differently or they approach stress differently. And all of those things can shape how they are or are not sexual together."

Couples have really had to adjust to a lot of different changes in everyday life. Leo says you're dealing with things like a discrepancy in libidos (which can happen outside of pandemic life), added stress, body image issues, and exhaustion, especially for families with children who have to balance homeschooling and working from home. "There is also the reality that 'absence makes the heart grow fonder,' and being cooped up with your significant other 24/7 may take away a lot of the romance," she adds.

There are some steps you can take to address those issues above and strengthen your relationship during this time. Take a look at some ideas.

1. Be Gentle With Yourself and Your Partner

"Putting pressure on yourself and your partner to have mind-blowing sex just because you're both home is counterproductive," Walsh says. "These are extreme times. It's okay for physical intimacy to look different. Maybe, for a while, intimacy looks like sensual massage or even nonsexual, affectionate touch. The most important thing is to stay connected and do what feels good."

2. Give Each Other Space

"Too much 'together time' can rob a couple of their erotic energy," Blair says. "In 'normal' times, we leave for work, separate social engagements, gym time, spa time, etc. With the pandemic, we are stuck together 24/7, and while this may, at first, sound romantic… the erotic needs space in order to thrive. Taking space when you are stuck inside four walls can be challenging, so get creative!" Blair recommends taking solo time in another part of your space if you have the room. If your space is limited, consider using headphones for your alone time.

Sometimes, one partner is comfortable with more closeness, while the other might enjoy more alone time, Blair says. It's important that you both recognize the differences so you can navigate your needs.

3. And Actually Create Some Space

4. Schedule Some Quality Time

Walsh recommends cultivating some space for physical intimacy and quality time without the pressure for sex, which can look like dedicated cuddle time, a massage, or sharing a meal without looking at your screens.

5. Communicate

Communication is key in relationships whether you're in a pandemic or not. "For those couples who are doing well and report that they are happier now than pre-COVID, we also see a willingness to communicate and do things differently," Leo says. "It seems like the couples who are more flexible and accepting of the situation and have the ability to adapt and get help if needed came through this the best."

6. Don't Wait Until You Want It

It's very likely that your sexual desire will wane over time if you're in a long-term monogamous relationship. Blair says that it doesn't mean that you or your partner aren't attracted to one another anymore. It just means that the novelty is gone, and novelty is one of the key factors that drive up sexual desire. "Not to worry, what generally happens is that desire follows arousal," she says. "So feel free to prioritize sexual contact and see if touching and making out doesn't light your fire. I recommend prioritizing some sexual contact with your partner every 72 hours. This does not have to involve intercourse—let the extra time you have with quarantine facilitate curiosity and experimentation. Consider trying a new sex toy, giving each other a sensual massage, taking a sexy shower together, etc."

7. Bring in Novelty

8. Learn About Your Stressors

"We love to talk about the work of Emily Nagoski, who is a sex educator—she talks a lot about how stress impacts us differently," Leo says. "For some people, it totally shuts down their desire systems, whereas for others it ramps them up. So a couple needs to understand each of their responses to stress. Understanding what triggers your desire and arousal is great, and there are some surefire ways of overriding the stress response that can shut off arousal."

9. Take Care of Yourself

10. Look Up Some Resources

For Singles

As a single person myself during this pandemic, I think I can speak for pretty much every unattached person and say that the struggle is real. Dating in "normal" times was hard enough, but COVID-19 is a whole other level of crazy. "Being single now is more difficult than ever," Blair says. "Not only are we all locked down and isolated without even the company of friends, but dating has become much more complicated! I think a lot of single folks are feeling alone, hopeless, bored, and horny! Not only are there concerns about STIs, but now, we have to worry about contracting or spreading COVID-19."

Some singles have been attempting to date in person, while others have preferred virtual dates over FaceTime or Zoom. And some people aren't even trying to get in the game at the moment. While everyone's situation might be different, there's no denying that the loneliness and isolation can feel very real at this time. Even if you weren't the most touchy-feely person at the start of this, you might be craving some touch and affection at this moment (and not just the sexual kind).

But there are a couple of things you can do to make things a little bit better for yourself right now—the experts shared below.

1. Think About What You Want

This can be a time of personal growth for you. "For some people, they've been really appreciative of the time and space away from social dating and having to be out in the world," Balestrieri says. "It's given them more pause to stop and be more intentional about what kind of partner they're looking for. The pandemic has given them maybe a different set of priorities to think about in terms of financial security, professional security, a sense of meaning in the world, connection, and family. So some people are really feeling like this time has been a gift because they've been able to step back out of what can be a very automatic and sometimes unconscious way of just being social and being out and about and going on dates."

2. Take Advantage of Communication

3. Love Yourself

4. Prioritize Connection

"I think it is important to prioritize connection—even if you don't want to—in whatever form that may take," Blair says. "Don't turn down a Zoom date or social hour with your friends. Try to reframe this time as one in which you can really get to know someone without the 'artificial' constraints that come along with 'normal' dating life. There are not financial factors (who picks up the bill) or erotic barriers (to have sex or not), so you're left with communicating and seeing if there is a connection worth exploring. Ironically, dating during COVID-19 offers an opportunity to go deeper faster. Enough with the small talk; we are all sharing a collective trauma, and that is a point of connection. Though, don't spend your time talking about quarantine. It's dark and boring and not necessarily going to bring you closer."

5. Be Honest on the Apps

Dating apps can feel like the Wild West because not everyone is looking for the same things. Some people might be looking for a long-term relationship, while others just want to find something casual. Some just want to swipe.

Balestrieri recommends being very clear with yourself about what you're looking for and what you're okay with exploring. Think about what kind of behaviors you expect in a potential partner. "Be rigorously honest with people about what you're looking for," she says. "I mean, it's totally okay if people want to sit on the apps and just sort of sext back and forth and have that be the extent of their interaction. But where I feel like people run into a lot of difficulty, heartbreak, and disappointment is when they're led to believe one thing and then something else happens."

6. Get Creative

If you meet someone you connect with on the apps, you can get creative with your virtual dates. "Maybe you order something from the same restaurant, and you eat together, or you watch the same movie," Balestrieri says. "There are different video-sharing platforms that you can use so that you can kind of simulate being in closer proximity. You can even use things like app-controlled teledildonics to simulate sexual experiences together, even if you aren't in the same room together."

No matter your situation—coupled up or single—the main takeaway when navigating sex and intimacy right now is to be extra patient and kind to yourself and others. We're still in a pandemic after all.

Next up: 22 Awkward Social Situations You Might Experience During COVID-19 & How to Deal

This article is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to be used in the place of advice of your physician or other medical professionals. You should always consult with your doctor or healthcare provider first with any health-related questions.

There have probably been a couple of times in your life when you've found yourself in a position where you've had to comfort someone. Maybe it was a family member, a friend, a colleague, or even a stranger. And there's a high probability that at least once or twice you've struggled a bit when giving said comfort.

You can be a truly empathetic person, know all the social etiquette rules, and be very well-spoken yet still have trouble finding the right words or actions in certain situations when someone is going through a tough time. Whenever I'm in this position, no matter who it is, I'm always stressing about whether I'm saying anything remotely helpful or actually making the situation better.

The thing is there aren't really any hard-and-fast guidelines when it comes to this whole comforting thing. There might be some general things you want to tick off or make sure you're doing, but there's no rule book on this type of stuff because every situation is so unique and every relationship is different.

I might comfort a friend who lost their job differently than I would a co-worker who is going through a breakup. I would probably support my mom in a different way than I would my sister because of our family dynamics. It all can be very circumstantial.

But for hard times, especially right now with everything that's going on, we may find ourselves really searching for the right words or actions. We may want to be there for our friends and family now more than ever because we can't see them that often due to social distancing guidelines. It's a time when everything feels uncertain and vulnerable, so you probably feel the need to connect more.

While there are no official rules on what to say in X, Y, Z tough situation, I thought there had to be some things you want to keep in mind when providing comfort and checking in on others. So I asked the experts for a couple of tips. Here's what I learned.

1. Check In With Yourself First

"Before checking in with others, it's important to check in with yourself," says Brittney Cobb, MSW, LCSW, founder of Be Well Mental Health & Consulting Services. "Are you energized enough to support someone else? Feeling burnt out? Take care of you so you are able to make room to support others without overwhelming yourself."

2. Keep in Mind Every Person Is Different

It helps to understand your relationship with the other person and what their own needs would be and act accordingly. "It's good to keep in mind that every person is different," Cobb explains. "What you need and what someone else needs is probably different. I would also be mindful of your role and remember that you are offering support not as a professional but as a friend or family member."

3. Ask What Their Bandwidth Is

If you want to check in on someone but don't want to overwhelm or seem overbearing, you can simply ask them what they're up for. "I think one way to meaningfully check in is to ask what their bandwidth is for conversation," explains Meghan Watson, MA, registered psychotherapist and managing director at Bloom Psychology & Wellness. "Even if it isn't anything meaningful that you are really discussing with a family member or a friend, we've all experienced, in the past couple of months, small things can be a mighty load. So you can ask, 'What resources do you have to chat today?' 'Do you have the bandwidth to tell me how you're feeling?' is a really helpful tool to check in. You're there, but you're not dumping or you're not asking outright entries of questions. You're just testing the water, gauging the temperature."

4. Send a Simple Text

"A simple text message or care package is a wonderful way to show you care while giving your loved one space," suggests Nina Vasan, MD, chief medical officer of Real, an on-demand therapy platform offering membership starting at $28/month. "It allows them to reply at the time that is right for them."

Cobb gave a couple of phrases to try: "Hey, just checking in to see how you're doing," "What are you feeling?" or "Is there anything I can do to help or support you at this time?" If the person doesn't know what they need, that's okay. "It doesn’t mean figure it out for them or rush to solutions," Cobb explains. "It could mean simply listening, allowing them space to talk and vent, or allowing them to come to you when they are ready."

5. Observe, Disclose, and Reaffirm

You might see that your friend or family member is struggling, and you might not be sure how to approach them. Watson says the first thing you can do is start with an observation, disclose a vulnerability that you may have, and reaffirm why you're reaching out. "It can be really validating to name that you're noticing, perhaps, someone is uncomfortable or has been struggling," she says. "This doesn't have to be a long conversation, but it can look like, 'I know that things have been really hard. I've been really struggling. And some of the things that I do when I'm struggling are talk to my friends and walk and run. I want to be able to check in and make sure that the people I love are comfortable. Is there anything I can do to help?'"

Recognizing their struggle, sharing your own struggles, and explaining that you care and are there for them may help make the person feel heard and comfortable with you.

6. Use Specific Language

You'll want to make sure you are validating and acknowledging their feelings. Watson cites a talk Brené Brown gave on empathy where she says the least empathetic way to start a conversation is with the phrase, "At least." "I think when we're all chatting about how our year has been, particularly in 2020, it can be tempting to say, 'Well, at least you have your health' or 'at least so and so is doing well' or at least, at least, at least," Watson says. "And that can be completely invalidating for the person who really just wants support for what actually is going on."

Instead, use gentle, compassionate, and soft language like "Is there anything you need?" or "In a perfect world, what can I do to support?" or "Can we find a place to be in the middle?" Vasan adds that open-ended questions can help the person open up as well.

7. Avoid Language That Can Be Blaming

You'll want to steer clear of any phrases or words that can be seen as blaming or criticizing. "[Avoid] language that is judgmental, forceful, or reinforces shame—phrases like 'You should…,' 'Why didn't you…?' or 'That was a mistake,'" Cobb says. "People want to feel safe enough to be vulnerable, and when we talk about comforting and supporting others, without safety, people won't open up."

8. Do a "Friend Test"

Use some introspection when you're trying to figure out if what you're saying is actually helpful or useful or is completely out of touch. "I'd recommend doing the 'friend test,'" Vasan suggests. "Think about how you would feel if your friend said the same thing to you."

9. Don't Force the Situation

It helps to read the room, so to speak (even if you're texting or on the phone), and any social cues. "Sometimes, we don't know how a person will react or respond until we are in the situation," Cobb says. "If you check in with someone and they aren't responsive or short with their responses, it may be likely that they do not want to engage. You cannot force someone to respond or be willing to share if they aren't comfortable."

10. Understand That You May Say the Wrong Thing

Yeah, this might happen. Don't beat yourself up about it. "First of all, release the idea that you're not going to say the wrong thing and that you won't mess up," Watson says. "It is important to know that there are so many miscommunications that can happen. Make sure that you're really listening and clarifying what you hear. With technology, it can be difficult to make sure that you're hearing the right thing."

She recommends using paraphrasing and clarifying statements to make sure you really understand the situation, like "So what I'm hearing is…" or "It sounds like…." These phrases can help ensure that what you're saying actually answers the person's questions or needs and is meaningful to them.

11. Ask for Feedback

No, you don't have to give them a "How Did I Do?" survey at the end of your conversation, but you can ask them if what you discussed was helpful. "Communication is key," Cobb says. "'Was I helpful?' 'Did this help you at all?' 'Is there anything I could have done better?' No one will get it right all of the time. If you do or say something offensive, own it and apologize. This takes vulnerability and humility."

12. Follow Up Thoughtfully

And lastly, chances are you'll probably want to check in on that person afterward. But there's always the question of whether you're being too pushy or maybe even not checking in enough. Watson says being upfront can help.

 After I have a conversation, I'll normally just disclose and say something really honest, like "After I have conversations like these, I tend to reflect a lot. And I'm wondering if you'd mind me checking in with you tomorrow, see how you feeling, maybe give you a call or a text. How would you feel about that?" Then, you'll know what their wishes or expectations are, and you can respect those accordingly.

Next up: 24 Little Things You Can Do for Yourself and Others Right Now

This article is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to be used in the place of advice of your physician or other medical professionals. You should always consult with your doctor or healthcare provider first with any health-related questions.

During these past few months, you've probably felt on edge. I know I have. How can we not be experiencing moments where we've been worried, hopeless, angry, depressed, anxious, sad, etc. This entire year has been a rollercoaster of emotions for all of us, and that's not an overgeneralization.

And when everyone is feeling all the feelings at once, well, it can lead to some tense, awkward, and uncomfortable interactions. Add to that the fact that not everyone is on the same page when it comes to social distancing and mask wearing. Dealing with others (friends, family, strangers) can be stressful, even if you're not leaving your home.

Maybe you've seen or read about people getting into fights about mask wearing and/or social distancing, some turning violent. You might have even experienced some tension with strangers or found yourself in similar situations. And chances are you've had to have some awkward or tough conversations with friends and family who have different rules or boundaries. 

While we're not here to tell you how to live your life regarding your own personal boundaries and limits during this pandemic, we can help you navigate interacting with others right now so that you can, hopefully, keep your existing relationships healthy and avoid any ugly confrontations with strangers. To be clear, though, the CDC recommends wearing masks that cover your nose and mouth in public settings and keeping six feet away from people not in your household in both indoor and outdoor places. So keep that in mind.

But, on the topic of interacting with others during this especially fraught time, experts shared their tips with us. These are general pieces of advice, so they might not work for every single situation. But they're a good place to start. Let's begin, shall we?

1. Figure Out Your Boundaries

It seems a bit weird since this task requires some introspection, and we're talking about interacting with others. But the first place to start is to figure out what your own boundaries are. What are you comfortable with? Who are you willing to see and in what capacity? What are your nonnegotiables? "Getting someone to respect your boundaries starts with setting clear boundaries," says Sage Grazer, LCSW, co-founder and chief clinical officer of Frame. "First, you need to understand your own boundaries and comfort level before you can assertively convey that to someone else."

2. Assert Your Boundaries

Once you figure out step one, then it's easier to be confident in how you enforce those boundaries and rules. Plus, it can help you deal with those moments when people aren't being respectful of your wishes. "It's important to remind friends and family how it makes you feel when they violate your boundary," Grazer says. "Some people may not understand the reasons why you set certain boundaries, and it's not your responsibility to explain yourself, but you can assert how it makes you feel and that it is important to you to feel safe and respected. We cannot genuinely engage in social connection when we do not feel safe."

3. Be Mindful of Others' Boundaries

It's a two-way street, right? If you want someone to respect you, you'll have to respect them. Yes, even when it's tough. And maybe, you're not sure how that other person feels, so don't be afraid to ask them. This can be helpful especially before you meet up with someone. "[Their boundaries] may be more cautious than you'd like, and that's okay. If it is the opposite and you are not feeling safe, you have the right to express your concerns and make your voice heard," explains Nina Vasan, MD, clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at Stanford University School of Medicine and chief medical officer of Real. "Be proactive and specific with what you are comfortable with. Remember that everyone is coming from a different perspective, and both yours and theirs are valid and need to be respected."

4. Talk It Out

While discussing the game plan before you meet up with someone is key, Vasan also says frequent and open communication can be very important. Continue to talk to your friends and family to learn more about their perspectives and limits, even if you aren't planning on seeing them anytime soon. 

5. Be Mindful of the Situations You Put Yourself In

While you can't predict everything, you might have an idea of what to expect in some situations or environments. "The reality is that some disagreements or confrontations may be unavoidable, so it's less about trying to 'avoid' and more about learning how to safely handle confrontations," Grazer says. "Being mindful about the situations that you put yourself in, and remaining thoughtful of your own responses and reactions can be helpful to decrease escalation of conflict."

6. Keep Your Composure

Grazer acknowledges that it can be tough to stay calm in stressful situations because when we feel threatened, our primitive brain is activated as a survival instinct. You could end up making a rash decision if you're not careful. "Our fight, flight, or freeze response can override our rational thinking brain (prefrontal cortex), which impacts our capacity for thoughtful decision-making and good judgment," she explains. "Remaining calm in stressful situations may involve increasing your awareness of your own triggers as well as being mindful of your internal responses to external stimuli/stressors."

Some mindfulness practices can work here, suggests Talkspace therapist Rachel O'Neill, PhD, LPCC-S. That includes allowing yourself to feel your feelings and taking a step back if you need to.

7. Remove Yourself From the Situation

If you find yourself in a situation where you feel uncomfortable, Myka Meier, etiquette expert, author, and founder of Beaumont Etiquette, advises removing yourself from it if you can. "If that doesn't work and you have to say something, just remember to stay respectful when you communicate what you need to," she adds.

8. Don't Escalate a Confrontation

This goes hand in hand with what we just learned about walking away and maintaining your composure. "Give people their space. If someone starts to escalate, stay calm and keep your voice level," Vasan says. "Be quick to apologize. Now is not the time to let ego or pride get in the way, even if you were not at fault."

9. Be Kind and Compassionate

It helps to understand where the other person is coming from. Vasan says it's good to remember that everyone is currently in a state of heightened stress. "This means that many of us have increased cortisol running through our bodies, making us hyperresponsive to stimuli and perceived threats," she explains. "When you have a negative reaction to someone else's response, first try to be kind and compassionate by remembering the stress they, too, are experiencing right now. This person might have more going on than meets the eye: Maybe they were just furloughed, maybe they can't pay rent this month, or maybe they are currently living with an elderly parent and trying to be extra cautious about exposure."

10. Understand You Might Not Be Able to Convince Everyone

I know a lot of us out there like to prove a point, myself included. But it's important to realize that not everyone is going to agree with you, no matter how compelling your argument is. "Try to work on focusing on what you can control, and that's often your reaction to these difficult situations," O'Neill advises.

11. Avoid Certain Language

In a tense environment, things can easily be misunderstood. "In general, avoid language that assumes absolutes (things like, 'always,' 'never') and try to avoid blaming language ('You made me feel')," O'Neill says. "Instead, take ownership over your feelings and use 'I' statements to express what it is you want the other person to know." You'll also want to avoid any language that is negative or threatening, Vasan adds.

12. Think About Body Language

Body language is so crucial right now, especially since it might be harder to communicate while wearing a mask. "It is said that the eyes are the window to the soul—your eyes say a lot. Test it out: Stand in front of a mirror wearing a mask and look to see what you see as you move your face to convey fear, happiness, or sadness," Vasan suggests. "Hand gestures and body language are similarly powerful forces, so use your body language, but be extra mindful, as certain hand gestures may be received as threatening."

13. Be Clear and Straightforward

When people are wearing masks, things can get lost in translation because sounds get muffled and we can't see facial expressions. O'Neill suggests being open and honest about this barrier by saying something like, "You can't see it, but I'm smiling when I say this." It can help ease the tension and acknowledges the uniqueness, newness, and awkwardness of the situation. "Next, I think it's also helpful to try to be as clear and straightforward as possible in what you're trying to communicate," she says. "Think about some of the tools that you use via email or text—like avoiding sarcasm—and try to avoid those same practices in conversations that include a face mask."

This article is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to be used in the place of advice of your physician or other medical professionals. You should always consult with your doctor or healthcare provider first with any health-related questions.

By this point, authors and IRL besties Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman should have their PhDs in friendship. The pair hosts the wildly popular podcast Call Your Girlfriend, where they talk about, among many other things, their long-distance friendship; coined the term "Shine Theory” from their own group chats; and, most recently, wrote a New York Times best-selling book called Big Friendship on the subject.

While their debut book chronicles their personal relationship and the measures they took to sustain and nurture it, they are also no strangers to dealing with the challenges that arise with other types of friendships, whether through their own experiences or through learning from their peers and audience.

On Instagram, we asked you to send in for the authors any questions you have about your own friendships. Keep reading to see how Friedman and Sow tackle issues of jealousy, maintaining friends with a mental illness, and realizing whether or not a friendship is worth saving. 

How do you celebrate your friends’ successes when you are secretly jealous of them?

Ann Friedman: "For me, the real heart of it is secretly jealous. If you are envious of something a friend has or accomplished, that’s natural, and it happens to all of us. Our friends are possibility models for us, and we often want things that our friends have.

The way that we have diffused that in our friendship is talking about it and asking, 'Hey, how did you accomplish that thing?' The real danger is not in that feeling of jealousy that pops up. It’s in what you do about it. So if you’re feeling secretly jealous, that means you are not communicating with your friend about how you’re feeling about their success. I think there’s a way to do that where you’re not saying, 'I can’t celebrate you because I’m jealous.' But rather introduce like, 'I’m so happy for you, and also, I find myself really envious of this thing that you have gotten/accomplished, and I would love it if you would help me get there, too. Can we do that together?' When it’s not a secret, it is not so painful."

Is it okay to not text or call very often and just interact through Instagram Stories?

Aminatou Sow: "Like all things, it depends. But if you’re asking the question, then you already know. The better question to ask is, Why are you only communicating through Instagram Stories? If it used to be part of normal life where you used to call them, why are you doing this now?

Friendship is all about communication. Ask your friend how they would like to be communicated with. Is it okay that you’re only communicating with them through Instagram DM? Is it really the best place to have conversations? Maybe for some people, but those are the things you have to decide together. And if you used to communicate a different way but stopped, maybe ask yourself why. Is it because of anxiety? Or maybe, you feel like you have too much going on. If so, then let’s find a way to change that. Regardless, you have to talk to your friend about it."

How do you know if a friendship is worth saving?

AF: "This is a tough question, but for me, I knew this relationship [with Aminatou] is one I wanted to save because, in part, it had been so important to me for so long. We were really invested in each other, and the idea of walking away from the friendship felt like walking away from all those years in emotional investment in each other.

Even though things were really bad, I looked at the whole scope of our friendship and realized they were good for a lot longer than they were bad and there’s hope for us.

But everyone answers that question in their own way with their own friendship. It will definitely vary from person to person, and at the end of the day, you will need both people in the friendship to know that they want to save it, and we were both very lucky and don’t take for granted that we decided we want to work on our friendship.

For us, that started with some curiosity, and we asked ourselves, "I wonder if we could find out more about what’s going on with the other person,” then made a decision about whether or not we wanted to invest in the other person. Maybe, if you still have that curiosity (if you’re like, "What has their experience been?” or "What part of this picture have I been missing?”), that could be an opening to figuring out whether or not you want to continue with that friendship and save it."

How do you maintain friendships if you have a mental illness, specifically depression?

AS: "This is such a good and important question. I struggle with mental illness myself, and I will say there are no magic bullets here. The first and most important thing is to just be able to communicate really, really clearly and also to try and do that in a moment when you are not in crisis.

I would really try to let my friends know what my mental illness is and how it manifests and also work through solutions together on how my friends can be there for me and how I can better communicate my needs to them before that happens.

What I would say to someone who has a friend with a mental illness is that mental illness is everywhere. It is a completely normal part of life. It’s important to not be judgmental and educate yourself and to try to understand what that looks like for your friend and to keep reassuring them that you do want to be there for them. Of course, it’s tough. But together, two people can communicate about pretty much anything."

Up next, Here's the Real Truth About Making Friends as an Adult 

This article is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to be used in the place of advice of your physician or other medical professionals. You should always consult with your doctor or healthcare provider first with any health-related questions.

After months of stay-at-home orders, many places are reopening now, and more people are venturing outside. Depending on your state, county, and city, you might be able to dine out at restaurants, order drinks at a bar, get your hair cut, and even go to a theme park in a few weeks.

This reopening and loosening of restrictions can cause a lot of conflicting feelings. You could be firmly on the excited side, happy to visit your favorite neighborhood spots and see friends again. Or you could be in the anxious camp, unsure that these reopenings are wise and still worried about health and safety conditions at those favorite neighborhood spots. Or you could waffle between the two sides, depending on the day, what news you've read, and your desire to both see your friends and family but also keep them safe.

It's okay to have those feelings. We are still dealing with a lot of unknowns out there. But what's known is that COVID-19 is still very much present in our world, and it's not going away anytime soon. Vaccines and promising new treatment methods still need to go through rigorous testing and trials before they're made available.

The threat is still there, even if we're able to move about more, and there's no way to 100% protect yourself against infection. The CDC says, "In general, the more closely you interact with others and the longer that interaction, the higher the risk of COVID-19 spread." So we've still got to follow the guidelines if we want to keep ourselves and others safe—that means continuing to practice social distancing and staying six feet away from others. You should also continue to wear a face mask in public settings, especially when you're indoors and can't exactly maintain social-distancing measures. And make sure you're washing or sanitizing your hands frequently, not touching your face, and monitoring symptoms and staying home if you feel sick.

Ultimately, it's on you to determine the risks, your comfort levels, and how to make sure you're doing your part to reduce the spread of the virus. It's important to understand what your own boundaries are first so that you can effectively let other people know. But I can pretty much guarantee that there will be some awkward or uncomfortable social situations in your future. You might have friends or family members who want to see you, but you're nervous about potentially infecting them and vice versa. Or you could be at the store and someone is getting a little too close. And if you're single, you may want to go on a socially distanced date but are unsure about setting up guidelines.

To help, I asked therapists and an etiquette expert to weigh in on some common scenarios that you might find yourself in and what to do or say in those situations. See what they had to say below. But keep in mind that these are just suggestions and might not work in every case. Be aware of your surroundings and who you're dealing with, as things can escalate, sometimes to the point where there might be a heated confrontation. Try to keep your composure, and if you are feeling unsafe, walk away if you can or ask for help.

With Strangers

You're going to come across all sorts of people with different comfort levels and boundaries, especially when you're in public spaces like a grocery store, mall, restaurant, library, etc. Dealing with strangers is VERY different than dealing with friends, family, and acquaintances, and sometimes things can get heated or uncomfortable. Here are some tips to avoid any escalation:

What to Do When Someone Is Too Close and You Want to Ask Them to Take a Step Back: "Say it in a way where you are not pointing out that they have done something wrong and more that you want to make it a collaborative effort by using pronouns such as 'us' and 'we,'" suggests etiquette expert and author Myka Meier, founder of Beaumont Etiquette. "I wish it were different, but let's make sure we keep enough space between us so we all stay healthy!"

Talkspace therapist Rachel O'Neill, Ph.D., LPCC-S, says you can also be more straightforward with your approach by saying, "I'm feeling uncomfortable, and I would like it if you could take a step back."

What to Do or Say When Someone Asks You to Take a Step Back: "I would recommend that you say or gesture something to signify that you understand and will comply," says Sage Grazer, LCSW, chief clinical officer at Frame. "You don't really need to say anything unless taking a step back is not a safe option for you."

If you do want to say something, O'Neill suggests going with a simple phrase like, "Sure, it's no problem to do so, and I appreciate you asking."

How to React When Someone Isn't Wearing a Mask: You'll want to tread carefully here, as we've seen from some news stories that this can get heated and sometimes violent. "For me, this depends on the situation. Are you in a situation where it feels safe to ask a stranger to put on a mask or to respect your social-distancing desires?" O'Neill explains. "If so, then I would simply acknowledge that you would prefer they wear a mask and/or give you some extra space. However, if it feels unsafe to ask for this, then I think finding a way to remove yourself from the situation—or from the person, in particular, might be the better way to go."

Meier adds that if you are in a place where it's mandatory to wear a mask, you can physically move away from the person, and if you think it's necessary, talk to the business owner or person of authority in the space. Again, don't do anything rash, and think about your environment and if it's worth it to bring it up or just leave or move away.

Family Members

Even though they're your family members, you might still have some differences when it comes to following social-distancing guidelines. You could be very worried about your older parents getting sick, while your siblings want to come over all the time even though they've been seeing a lot of other people. Or you might be the one who is looking to create a "quarantine circle" with family members you don't live with. Take a look at these common situations you might come across:

What to Say to Your Parents Who Aren't Following Social-Distancing Rules but Might Be at Risk: "This is a particularly challenging issue because, at the end of the day, we don't have control over what our parents do," Grazer says. "I think the best you can do is explain how it makes you feel when they go out. For example, 'It makes me feel anxious when you go out to the store.' People also often say that they don't care if they themselves get sick, but you can emphasize that it's not only about them, and then you can share how it impacts you."

O'Neill gives another example: "Your safety is important to me, and I'm concerned that you're putting yourself at risk right now."

When Your Parents Want to Visit: First, consider your and their comfort levels. If you feel that you can be as safe as you can, then make sure they know what the guidelines are before they come over. O'Neill suggests saying, "I would love to visit with you. Here are the social-distancing measures that I've been taking and that I would ask you to follow during our visit."

If you're uncomfortable with them visiting and vice versa, you can decline in a polite way that's still loving. "Instead of just saying you can't or don't want to get together, give a caring explanation so they know the reasoning behind your decision: 'Mom and Dad, I love you so much that I wouldn't ever want to risk your health. Let's stick to online hellos until it's safe to see you in person again,'" Meier says.

What to Say to Other Family Members Who Want to Visit: If you are going to have family over, again, it's important to set your boundaries first, which is easier said than done. "It can be really hard to set and enforce new boundaries with anyone, nonetheless family members," Grazer says. "One tip is to emphasize that your actions (maintaining distance) are not personalized to that specific person. For example, you can say, 'I don't feel comfortable when anyone comes within six feet of me.'"

"Be firm but loving in your approach and make sure to clearly communicate ahead of the gathering or someone coming over what your house rules are," Meier adds.

Friends

A lot of us haven't seen our friends in months. Yes, it's a privilege to be able to stay home, but it can feel lonely at times. I would guess that even an introvert misses hanging out with their friends. Again, this is a tricky thing to navigate as some friends might be all about getting the crew to go to a restaurant or bar; others might be okay with a socially distanced hangout at the park; and others might still be wary of seeing people outside of their household. Like all of these situations, it's important to just be mindful of your and others' feelings and perspectives.

What to Say When Your Friends Want to Hang Out: "Similar to dealing with your parents, you can't control your friends' behaviors, but you can set your own boundaries," Grazer says. "One option is to share your personal choices about your own social/physical distancing practices, and you can open the dialogue to better understand their choices." If you are able to communicate your preferences and learn about their own, you might come up with a compromise that allows you to meet up.

And remember to be honest, especially if you don't feel safe seeing others right now. "You don't want to come across like you are telling them what to do, but you can communicate your own wishes," Meier says. "For example, 'The party sounds so fun right now, but I'm being extra careful and going to sit this one out. Hope to come to another one soon!'"

How to Turn Down a Social Engagement Without Seeming Judgy: There may come a time when you're going to get invited to something that you don't feel quite comfortable attending, and the host might take it personally that you don't want to come. "I believe that there are non-judgmental ways to convey your personal decisions about what you are comfortable with regarding your own health and body," Grazer says. "But also keep in mind that people are going to perceive you through their own lens, so no matter how delicately you phrase something, they may still feel judged or hurt. Making decisions based on attempts to avoid hurting someone's feelings does not reflect positive self-care. Putting yourself at risk or neglecting your own needs may lead to feelings of resentment or self-destructive behavioral patterns."

When declining an invitation, Meier says it's important not to make the person feel bad about their decision and address your situation and not theirs.

What to Do If You're at a Friend's House Who Has a Lot of Rules: In short, you've got to follow the host's wishes since you're in their home. You can help avoid any problems by talking things through before your visit. "In general, I think it's helpful to have open and clear communication with people before meeting up during this time," Grazer says. "If you have a conversation beforehand, you give each other the opportunity to set your boundaries and expectations before they get crossed. It's much harder to tell someone to back up once they've already come too close than it is to say in advance. Open the dialogue, ask them what they feel comfortable with in terms of physical distance and PPE/masks, and share your thoughts as well. That way, you can come to an understanding before anyone's feelings get hurt or boundaries get violated."

What to Do If You're at Someone's Gathering, and You're Uncomfortable With Another Guest's Actions: "I think the best thing to do is to politely remove yourself physically from the situation or group if you're not comfortable," Meier says. "If you are the host and you are uncomfortable in your own home due to a guest's actions, then politely address it to that person individually and not in front of the group."

O'Neill gives this script if you're the guest: "I'm feeling uncomfortable with the [guest's name] behavior [and you can include a bit about what in particular is causing the discomfort]. I understand you're in a tough position as the host, I can certainly take steps to maintain my own sense of comfort but just wanted to make you aware in the event one of those steps involves me making an early exit."

And here's her script if you're the host: "I've noticed you [insert the thing they are doing]. I'm uncomfortable with your behavior because [insert reason]. I appreciate you coming here to spend time with me, but I would request that you [do this thing instead]."

Kids

While the CDC says that the evidence suggests that children are not at a higher risk of contracting COVID-19 than adults, there are some kids who have gotten it, and even some who have died. If you have kids or are interacting with kids, you want to be as careful as you are with everything else.

What Should You Do If Your Child Is Asked on a Playdate: "This really comes down to your level of comfort with playdates and how those should look for your children," O'Neill explains. "Regardless, I think it's important to communicate to both the children and their parents about your expectations for social distancing." Meier says you should also explain to the children the "rules" of the playdate. For example, she suggests you can say, "To make sure we don't spread germs to our friends, we are going to make sure we eat and drink from our own plates and cups, and we won't be sharing snacks today."

How to Talk to Your Older Children About Social Distancing: "Be as honest and forthcoming as possible about the reasons you're social distancing and how they will help avoid your family contracting the illness and/or making other folks sick," O'Neill says. "You can also reinforce to your children that these social-distancing guidelines are short-term and will not be in place forever."

What to Do If Your Older Children's Friends Aren't Social Distancing: Meier suggests setting ground rules with the parents ahead of any social event, whether your child is younger or older. And O'Neill adds, "Determine how comfortable you are with your children continuing to engage with those individuals and then talk with your children about what types of steps they may need to take to maintain their safety."

Romantic Partners

To put it not-so lightly, COVID-19 has really screwed with dating and relationships. If you're in a relationship, you might have run into some communication problems with your significant other, whether you're quarantining together or apart. If you're single and trying to date, you're probably sick and tired of virtual dates by now, and the temptation to meet someone in-person is so real.

What to Do When You're Going on a Date With Someone: There may come a time when you meet someone and you're both ready to meet in person. It's important to make sure you're on the same page when it comes to social distancing guidelines to avoid any weird moments. And first dates are always a bit awkward, so anything to lessen it is much appreciated, right?

"Have an open conversation with them before you meet up about what guidelines you are following and why it is important for you to follow things in that way," Nina Vasan, MD, MBA, chief medical officer of Real suggests. "If you are on a different page, discuss beforehand what your interactions can look like such that you are both comfortable and feel safe. Frequent and open communication is also important. When first meeting someone or in the early stages of dating, you can misread signals. Combine that with texting as the medium of choice, and the result is that a lot can get lost. Be extra communicative around anything physical, and let the other person know what your boundaries are at this time."

How to Set Up Logistics for a Date: "I think it's important to always err on the side of supporting the person who requests more social-distancing measures," O'Neill explains. "So if one person feels comfortable dining in a restaurant, but the other would prefer to eat outdoors and six feet away from others, then I think it's simply a good idea to support the person who requires the extra distancing."

What to Do If Your Date Pressures You to Not Socially Distance: This has got to be a red flag if it's making you feel uncomfortable. "How folks approach this situation is likely indicative how they will tend to approach others," O'Neill says. "If someone is pressuring you to do anything you're not comfortable doing, it's likely a good idea to determine the role you might want them to play in your life moving forward."

How to Make Sure You and Your Partner Are on the Same Page: For more established couples, you can still run into some issues now that things are reopening. One person might want to get out more, while the other feels more comfortable waiting a bit longer. "Talk about the situation and how you can collaboratively approach it," O'Neill says. "Discuss ways to make sure that each partner feels like their perspectives and voice is being heard."

What If Your Partner Isn't Following the Rules: "Try to communicate what you need and ask your partner to respect your safety wishes," O'Neill says.

What If You Feel Your Partner Is Being Overly Cautious: You might feel a bit frustrated with them, but it's important to respect their needs—you would probably want them to do the same for you. "You never want someone to do anything they are uncomfortable with," Meier says. "Be compassionate and give them time to adjust, as they likely are worried not only for themselves but for you."

Co-Workers

If you've been lucky enough to work from home for the past few months and are going to return to work, you might encounter some uncomfortable situations in the workplace, even if your company has plenty of rules and measures in place. Coming back from working by yourself every day to working with others can be a tough transition. Here's what to do if you come across some tricky scenarios:

What to Do If Your Colleague Isn't Respecting Social-Distancing Rules: "I would suggest having a conversation where you state your needs and ask them to take steps to respect them," O'Neill says. "If they don't respond favorably, then it might make sense to involve your supervisor at that point."

What If Your Colleagues Aren't Respecting Sanitation and Hygiene: This is serious, and you'll want to bring it up to management. "During this moment in time, taking steps to follow sanitation and hygiene guidelines is literally a matter of life or death for some," O'Neill says.

What If Your Boss Isn't Understanding or Respecting Your Feelings About Social Distancing: Try to explain it to them first, and if that doesn't work, you might want to reach out to your HR department or another person in your company. "I would consider if there's anyone else in the organization that you might be able to talk with about your concerns," O'Neill suggests. "If not, then I would consider how you can work to control your safety to the best of your ability in the situation and/or determine if you might want to begin to explore other workplace options."

Overall, for all of these scenarios, it's important to avoid knee-jerk reactions and think about the situation carefully before responding or acting. And keep in mind that everyone is getting used to this "new normal," so have patience for yourself and others.

Next up: How to Quit Those Unhealthy Bad Habits Once and for All

This article was published at an earlier date and has been updated.

This article is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to be used in the place of advice of your physician or other medical professionals. You should always consult with your doctor or healthcare provider first with any health-related questions.

One of the saddest things about getting older has got to be that it's so much harder to make friends as an adult. And this is coming from someone who is pretty content with her group of friends. But from hearing so much from others about their struggles with finding and forming strong friendships in the years after college, it seems like a big problem for some people.

In his monologue for Saturday Night Live recently, the comedian and actor John Mulaney said that the greatest miracle about Jesus was that he was a 33-year-old man with 12 best friends. While it's a joke, it's kind of true, right? It's tough out there!

You can be the most outgoing person in the world and it still might be hard to make new friends. There are a couple of circumstances that come into play. Some people might already be happy with their current friend group and are not really looking to expand their circle—and they might not be deliberately trying to be exclusive, but doing it subconsciously. Conflicting and busy schedules can be a snag in budding friendships. Some might have other relationships that they have to focus on, like with their partners or children. 

Not to mention it's not exactly like college anymore where it's kind of your job to make friends and where you're meeting new people pretty much all the time through classes, clubs, parties, and just by hanging out in your dorm's common areas. (A moment of silence for college nostalgia… Okay, done.)

But not all hope is lost, and you don't have to be friendless as you progress into your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond. You've just got to work a little harder now to seek out, grow, and maintain friendships. Here are some steps you can take:

Yes, you've got to leave the house in order to meet new people. "I think the most important actionable step in terms of making new friends is to put yourself out there," says Madeleine DiLeonardo, MEd, LPC, NCC, a licensed professional counselor and founder of Mind Body and Soul by DiLeonardo Wellness. "Suggesting coffee to a co-worker you think you would like to get to know better or joining a group in your community such as a sports league or special interest group may feel awkward at first, but it's how you meet people! Reach out to acquaintances, accept offers to go out, attend workshops, and push yourself out of your comfort zone! Meetup groups, as well as online communities that have in-person meetup components, are also great."

With busy schedules, it can be hard to see people regularly, and when you don't, it's going to be tougher to form deeper friendships. So make a plan in advance, even if it means planning for something weeks later.

"As we get older people can be busier and have many responsibilities, but as we take inventory of our lives it's important to prioritize fun and friendship!" DiLeonardo says. "Planning in advance is a great way to work around this. You can acknowledge that most people are busy, but by scheduling a 'friend date' in advance, you can ensure that you have time blocked off to spend together. This doesn't need to be for long amounts of time, but just grabbing coffee or lunch uninterrupted (no phones!) can help to nurture a new relationship."

To avoid being too clingy, DiLeonardo cautions that you should try to be flexible and understand that life happens if your new friend needs to reschedule or postpone because of life responsibilities.

Don't forget about what's going on IRL. "I think because we are so connected online to friends near and far, we sometimes do not feel as obligated to make the effort to make new friends or connect in person," DiLeonardo explains. "However, as we discussed when talking about friendships and social media, it is important to invest in the here and now, and work to cultivate a life and relationships that feel good to you on a day-to-day basis."

Like the first point, it might be a good time to get out of your normal routine and try something new. Look to your interests to help you. Maybe that's joining a running club or volunteering or taking a class at your local community college. You'll get to enjoy a new experience, and you might make some friends with similar interests, too.

It's also an opportune time to brush up on what it means to be a good friend. This can help you keep your expectations realistic and prioritize what you need to do. "Simply keep in mind the foundational components that make up a good friendship, such as being dependable, showing genuine interest, being supportive of your friend, sharing experiences, and demonstrating effort in terms of spending time together," DiLeonardo suggests.

"Try incorporating new friendships into the existing activities and relationships in your life," DiLeonardo recommends. "Are you interested in trying a new restaurant or is an existing group of friends getting together? Invite your new friend to these activities while trying to foster a new friendship."

If you're single, you might have asked your existing friends and acquaintances to set you up with someone to date. This idea can also be applied to meeting new friends, too. Who knows? They might know a potential friend with similar interests or personality. Don't be afraid to network.

We've warned you above about how social media can make you a little lazy when it comes to making friends IRL, but it can also come in handy sometimes. There are a lot of apps out there with users who are also looking to make new friends—like Meetup, Hey! Vina, or Bumble BFF. This can be especially helpful if you've just moved to a new city and don't know a soul or have only a few acquaintances there.

You probably see the people you work with more often than you see your existing friends or even your parents. You can be spending at least eight hours with these people five days a week. It's pretty inevitable that you might form close relationships with your co-workers. It's nice to be friends with your colleagues, but sometimes it can get messy, like if there's competition or gossip

But DiLeonardo has a few pointers to make sure it doesn't get messy. "Keep in mind that friendships with peers at work can be less complicated than friendships with bosses or supervisors," she explains. "Be respectful of boundaries, meaning that while it may be easy to slip into discussing work-related issues outside of work, a colleague may not want to talk about work when hanging out casually. We can have multifaceted relationships and acknowledge that even if there is a challenge or complication at work we can still care about the person on a deeper level as a friend, or that even if someone is experiencing a challenge in their personal life, you still need to maintain an effective working relationship."

And once you have new friends, you should remember that you need to continuously put in the work and effort to maintain these relationships. Reach out regularly, make sure they know you're there for them when they need you, and make sure that they're one of your priorities in life.

Next up: nine Things That Will Help You Deal With Loneliness

This article is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to be used in the place of advice of your physician or other medical professionals. You should always consult with your doctor or healthcare provider first with any health-related questions.

If you're single and ready to mingle in the 21st century, I feel your pain. As a fellow single person, I too have many gripes about modern dating. There are so many apps (and therefore, many more people) to choose from; no one seems to be serious because of said apps; and you might find yourself going on so many more first dates than your parents ever did. You could even line up a date for every day of the week if you tried hard enough. That could be good or bad, depending on the date, but can we just all admit that it would be extremely tiring to be "on" during a date seven days a week?

There are hookups, casual relationships, friends-with-benefits situations, "they're sort of my boyfriend or girlfriend" scenarios… I mean, any type of relationship stage is possible at this point. 

But before I go on and on about how it seems impossible to date in 2020, I decided to get some pointers from etiquette expert and author Myka Meier. Meier has been working with Messenger from Facebook on digital etiquette best practices that help people navigate online communication with actionable tips and advice. I didn't ask her about how to get a date (that's a whole other story) but what to do when you're actually on a date, dating (or sort of dating) someone, and messaging or texting someone.

"Dating has drastically changed in recent years with the flood of online and app options," says Meier. "Not only does it allow you to pre-screen certain qualities you may be looking for in a potential date, but it also gives you a platform to confidently approach someone to chat without physically putting yourself out there. Online dating and apps have made communication easier because you can think out questions and responses ahead of time and you don’t have the same pressure to think on the spot."

Meier adds that communicating with a potential date online might make it easier for those who have a hard time expressing themselves with words because you can set the tone through emoji or stickers. In fact, she says that Valentine's Day was the number one day in the U.S. for sticker sends in 2019 on Facebook Messenger.

So how can you navigate dates and messaging people without wanting to rip your hair out? Meier shares her dos and don'ts:

Catfishing is not cool. But you know what's also not cool? Lying about little things because that's also pretending to be something or someone you're not. Keep it real. It'll save you a lot of trouble later on.

"Don't try to come up with a one-liner that doesn't feel authentic or speak in a way that isn't you," Meier says. "It sounds cliché to say 'be yourself,' but if you try to be someone else, it will never work. Once, I had a friend who was messaging for another friend, and when the guy met up with her finally, he said, 'It's like you were a different person online,' and actually it was!"

"If people are not responsive, be patient. When you have sent a message and are awaiting a response, definitely don’t multi-message," Meier says. "According to Messenger from Facebook, 60% of Americans say they check to see if someone has read their message while standing by for a response, and 37% agree that sending multiple messages is a no-go."

Of course, you may find that someone takes a few days or doesn't respond at all. At that point, you might want to consider if it's worth pursuing or if you should cut your losses.

This might save you a lot of trouble and heartache in the long run. "I think it's important to communicate, if given the opportunity, what you are looking for upfront, meaning if you are looking for something casual and fun or want to take it slow but serious," Meier says. "There are ways to state that, either in About Yourself in your profile or when chatting."

Okay, yes, a phone call might have been acceptable years ago, but now that a lot of people use texting as their main form of communication, it can really be jarring for someone to give you a ring out of the blue. Or maybe you prefer calling but aren't sure how the other person feels. The main thing to do here is try to understand each other's communication preferences. So if you plan on calling someone, Meier suggests sending a text first to give them a heads-up.

"Many people feel that texting is easier because you can plan what you are going to say ahead and you can respond at your own pace of conversation," Meier explains. "I also think just like there are audio and visual learners, there are audio and visual daters. Some people want to hear a voice to see if there is chemistry outside of a text. If you want to speak to someone before meeting for a date, it's fine to say, 'I'm around this afternoon. Give me a ring when you are free to chat details.' If the person continues to text after you have expressed a desire to chat via phone instead of via message, then it may be a forecast of further issues communicating, as not everyone has the same style, which is okay too."

Come on, everyone. It's human decency! This should go for every dating interaction, especially when you need to turn someone down. "I think the way you break up with someone or let them know you are not interested depends on the relationship," Meier says. "For instance, if you only went out once for a drink, I think it's perfectly fine to send a message the next time the person asks you out saying you think while you enjoyed meeting them, you only felt like you two would be friends. If it's someone you have been properly dating and have invested time getting to know, I think it's considerate to mirror the relationship's communication up until that point to break things off—meaning if you have been speaking regularly on the phone, a phone call is a respectful way to explain your feelings. If you have been meeting in person and dating for a while, an in-person explanation may be more appropriate."

Meier also adds that it depends on why you are breaking things off: "For instance, if something happened where you don’t feel comfortable meeting in person or speaking on the phone again, then maybe an email or message would be a better form of communication, pending the situation." Whatever the case, you should do it in the least hurtful manner as possible, she says.

Again, this goes with the above tip. Treat people the way you want to be treated. "Being ghosted is horrible either way, so avoid doing it to someone else, especially when dating," Meier says. "Not only is it hurtful to have happen to you, but burning a bridge is never a good idea and you never know when you will see that person again. If someone has ghosted you, I wouldn't recommend you keep reaching out after you sent a message and there was no reply. Move on and try to brush it off. You don't want to date or be friends with someone who would do that anyway!"

Meier has three pointers to remember on a first date, no matter how or where you meet. The first is to dress to impress, or put in some effort when you're meeting someone, as it might come across as rude if you show up disheveled. You don't have to wear a cocktail dress or three-piece suit, but brushing your hair and teeth before might help.

The second and third involve the elephant in the room during first dates: money and who's paying. "Offer to pay your half. Maybe your date will insist on paying, but you don’t want to come across expectant without even offering," Meier says. "In modern etiquette, it is seen as respectable and a sign of independence. That being said, I always say in modern etiquette who pays should not have to do with gender but instead whoever invited the other person out—picked the restaurant, made the reservation, ordered the bottle of wine, etc.—is the person who is hosting and should pay." And she adds, if someone treated you, send a thank-you note. It doesn't have to be on monogrammed stationery. You can send a simple thanks via text.

Of course, this depends on the situation, but Meier suggests avoiding extremely personal questions. "The first date should be just about if you have chemistry or not," Meier explains. "Asking if someone wants kids, wants to get married, or something similar may be seen as too personal too fast or even that you are moving too fast and can scare someone off. I would also advise not talking about money, meaning what you have or earn, as it comes across braggy or showy. Avoid talking politics. You never know what someone's take is and a date can go south and fast!"

This might come in handy when there's an awkward silence. "If you are nervous or feel awkward, come prepared with a few good questions you can ask them that are open-ended, which will allow you to get to know them better," Meier suggests. "For example, do ask, 'So what did you do last weekend?' versus 'Did you have a good weekend?' Once you get someone talking, it's much easier to feel comfortable. It's the awkward silence that you want to avoid, which can be avoided if you simply pre-plan a few good get-to-know-you questions!"

You know the phrase "read the room"? Well, a date involves a lot of that. When it comes to being affectionate, see how your date is responding. And if someone is being a little too affectionate, like leaning in for a kiss, don't feel pressured to go with it.

"Body language is key here, as keeping as much physical space between the two of you will be key," Meier says. "If someone is coming on strong and you have tried subtly to say you are not interested, then I think it's good to be firm and assertive in that moment and let them know you had a nice time, but the night isn’t going to end with a goodnight kiss."

Next up: 11 Simple Ways to Improve Your Relationships, According to a Therapist

This article is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to be used in the place of advice of your physician or other medical professionals. You should always consult with your doctor or healthcare provider first with any health-related questions.

You know that old adage, "the couple that cleanses together, stays together"? All right, so maybe that's not an actual saying, but when you do decide to put your body through a physically, mentally, and potentially emotionally challenging period, wouldn't it be nice to have a partner by your side? Or maybe the process could really put a relationship to the test.

One Los Angeles–based couple, Angela Asistio and Jeff Cohn, recently put this theory to the test when the pair did the ProLon Diet together for five days. If you've watched The Goop Lab on Netflix, the diet might sound familiar to you. Gwyneth Paltrow tried it and documented her experience in one episode. It's a five-day program that includes plant-based meals (snacks, soups, etc.), and it is supposed to, according to the diet's website, "nourish your body and support healthy levels of metabolic markers, cellular rejuvenation, and healthy aging."

From moments of frustration to celebration, learn what the couple has to say about their experience.

Names: Angela Asistio, music supervisor, and Jeff Cohn, cinematographer

What is the ProLon Diet, and why did you want to try it?

AA: The ProLon diet bills itself as a "fasting mimicking cleanse." While on it, your body is tricked into thinking it's fasting for five days even though you are eating. During that time, your body goes into ketosis and then autophagy. I won't butcher the science, but in short, your body starts to feed on the damaged cells that are roaming around in your body, which is why I did it to begin with. If I can be preemptive about cancer or diabetes, then that in and of itself is a win. I was also starting to feel a little sluggish and bloated and figured this could help. My social and work life are both centered around going out, trying new restaurants, and cooking, so I thought it'd be nice to just have a little reset, especially coming into the New Year.

JC: ProLon is a five-day diet that's designed to give you the benefits of fasting while still eating three meals a day. I've never really been interested in a diet or cleanse before this, and I'm not sure I would have sought it out on my own had I not heard about it from my girlfriend, Angela, but I was really intrigued by the health claims. The clinical trial results were really persuasive.

Why did you want to try it as a couple?

AA: I wanted to do it, and Jeff was down too!

JC: It just seemed like if we were going to do the ProLon diet, it would be a lot easier if we did it together. Staying in for a week and not having any of my favorite foods seemed like a major challenge. There's so much incredible food in L.A. that the idea of depriving yourself all that for five days of powdered soups and kale crackers was intimidating. But I also liked the challenge and was curious if we could do it.

Have you done anything like this before, and if so, what were the results?

AA: I tried a three-day juice cleanse once in 2015. To be honest, I can't really remember what the results were. What I do know now looking back is that there was probably way too much sugar in that cleanse.

JC: No, never.

What happened during the process? What parts of it did you hate or love?

AA: For five days, I ate a prescribed diet of whatever was in the ProLon box for that given day. The box consisted of a rotation of soups, bars, teas, and snacks. Generally, while there were some hard moments, I thought it really wasn't that bad. The food tasted fine (some even good!), and the convenience of having your meals laid out was nice. I did feel a little weak and low-energy at the office, but it was pretty manageable. I thought I was going to get hangry and super irritable, but there weren't too many extreme moments. That said, the hardest days were probably the second day and the last day. On the first day, you eat the most calories to transition your body into cleanse mode, and the second day, the amount of food drops and that was the biggest shift for me. On the fifth day, I really started to get bored of the food and was missing the taste and texture of food outside of the ProLon box.

JC: Pretty much every day of the diet starts with an L-bar, which is ProLon's version of honey-nut bar that was actually really surprisingly good. Lunch consists of some variety of rehydrated soup along with a pack of olives or kale crackers. Then dinner is another soup and maybe another bar or snack. I think the hardest part for me was actually cutting back on caffeine every morning. Rehydrated soups aren't the most exciting thing to eat every day, but the flavors were usually good, sometimes great. Big fan of the tomato soup, no joke. Also I was lucky to be really busy the week of the cleanse, so time passed quickly, and I didn't find myself thinking about food that much until day five.

Were there moments during the cleanse that you felt relieved or frustrated that you were doing it with your partner?

AA: Never frustrated, always relieved. It's nice to have a support system in place, especially when burritos and BLTs were top of mind. I kept my social calendar completely empty to resist temptation—and also just because I wasn't the most energetic—so it was nice to have someone to hang with that could relate.

JC: This cleanse would have been far more difficult on my own. Having someone to commiserate with, to give and receive encouragement from, is everything. Around day three or four, the repetitive nature of the diet gets a bit maddening, but having someone to suffer through it with makes it easier for sure.

How did you feel afterward? What kind of changes did you notice?

AA: Overall, I felt great. I found myself snacking less throughout the day because my meals kept me full. I usually feel a 4 p.m. crash and/or hunger pangs during the day, but I haven't felt that at all. I've also felt less bloated. Finally, I really wasn't expecting this to happen, but I previously had some subtle yet ever-present acne on my cheeks, and it disappeared!

JC: I lost a few pounds and felt a bit leaner, but the main thing I noticed was that my energy levels were noticeably up throughout the day. Another takeaway for me was realizing how much food I'm accustomed to eating just because it's there. ProLon showed me how little food I actually need each day, so taking that knowledge into my daily life has helped me resist snacking and eating to excess in general.

Do you have any advice for anyone (or any couple) who's thinking of trying it?

AA: If you can swing it, definitely do it with a partner or friend. Not only can you commiserate together, but it also keeps you both accountable.

JC: Check out the ProLon site. Read the article in Science Translational Medicine about the clinical trials. If you're like me and there is a history of diabetes or other chronic diseases in your family, think about the risk versus reward. The health claims are major, so do your own research and decide for yourself.

Anything else?

AA: I did find a coupon online, but the ProLon diet is pricey. They do provide a customer assistance program, but even then, the diet would still be $199. That said, overall, I'm glad I tried it. The gastrointestinal issues I had subsided, it was a good exercise in self-control, and five days is really not that long of a commitment to try out something new.

Editor's note: Before you decide to go on any diet, it's best to check with your doctor a healthcare professional first.

Next up: I Ate Like Beyoncé for 30 Days and Lost 15 Pounds—Here's My Honest Review

This article is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to be used in the place of advice of your physician or other medical professionals. You should always consult with your doctor or healthcare provider first with any health-related questions.

Let's just be real here: No relationship is picture-perfect. Even the couples who look like they are doing everything right might have some problems. Whether you're in a long-term relationship or just started dating someone, there are probably some things that you and your partner should work on. Issues—who doesn't have them?

While relationships are not exactly perfect (and honestly, wouldn't that be a little boring?), there are ways to work on them and address any problems or issues you're both facing. But you've got to be realistic and recognize that it's going to take two things: time and effort.

To help, we chatted with Laura Heck, LMFT, who teaches the Seven Principles Leader Training Program at the Gottman Institute and co-hosts Marriage Therapy Radio, to get some tips to improve your relationship. Just remember that each circumstance is different and not every couple has the same issues, so all of these suggestions might not exactly fit your situation to a T, but maybe you'll find one or two that can help. 

1. Be Me-Focused

You might have read that and thought, "That sounds selfish!" But let us explain. "The thing that I find quite often with couples is that when they come to see me as a therapist, they're usually so focused on what their partner is doing and how they're falling short in their relationship, and so they become very other-focused," Heck says. "So one of the very first things that I do with couples is that I help them to become so much more me-focused and focused on themselves because in reality there's really a locus of control, and that's just with yourself and how you can shift your own personal dynamic or mindset in the relationship."

That might mean thinking about what YOU can do to improve your relationship or what YOU can do for your partner or what YOU need from your partner.

2. Recognize Bids for Connection

This sounds very fancy and like therapist-speak, but it really is just understanding when your partner is looking for attention or wants to be acknowledged. "One of the things that we really noticed with couples is that there are all these tiny little moments that happen throughout the day, and they're called these bids for connection," Heck explains. "We're constantly bidding for our partner's attention or affection or humor, conversation, whatever it might be, and they're happening all throughout the day."

A bid for connection can be something as small as your partner talking about the weather and you commenting back about it. You could turn toward your partner when they're making a bid or turn away from them. And this also plays into the first tip: "When we begin to focus on our own personal mindset, it really is about shifting and looking for those opportunities to turn toward your partner," Heck says. "That's kind of a major player when it comes to working with couples, you don't have to necessarily increase the times where you're reaching out to your partner, but you do have to be able to recognize it and interpret that your partner's making a bid and that they're making a positive gesture in the relationship."

3. Focus on the Small Moments

I love romantic comedies, but they have really conditioned a lot of us to think big gestures are EVERYTHING. So thanks a lot, classic movie trope of someone running through an airport before their loved one boards a plane and leaves their lives forever. Or when someone takes over the mic during a big event to profess their love. Insert classic romantic movie climax scene here. You get the gist.

But since we live in the real world, the smaller moments seem to matter most. "There doesn't necessarily have to be a whole lot of action," Heck explains. "Sometimes we think that we need to pour a lot of energy and action into our relationships, like that we need to go all out on Valentine's Day. But realistically, it's not those massive gestures that have the biggest impact. It's really the day-to-day ones. It's those small, tiny little moments that are happening."

Heck brings it all back to the bids for connection idea we talked about above: "Really, it's just about recognition that when you begin to look for your partner's bids for connection, you have the opportunity to turn toward them. It's not a huge gesture, but it's the frequency and consistency that matters."

4. Think About What You Like or Love About Your Partner

Heck says this idea is especially helpful in long-term relationships where contempt or a feeling of superiority might creep in. She gives an example of thinking you're a better tipper than your partner and starting to think they're selfish because of that. It's about having rose-colored glasses on if you're in a new relationship versus what Heck says are "shit-colored" glasses in longer relationships of 10, 15, 25 years. The honeymoon phase might be long gone, but that doesn't mean it's worse.

While you can't exactly get back those glasses from the early days, you can shift your thinking. "A kind of antidote to that is trying to focus your attention on what you love and adore and appreciate about your partner, and becoming super mindful that there are qualities that you love and appreciate about your partner, and just really reminding yourself that there may be differences, but it doesn't mean you're better than your partner," Heck says.

5. Have Daily Check-Ins and Rituals

If your communication skills have taken a back seat, a daily check-in or creating some rituals can help. This is especially helpful for couples who have a lot going on in their lives, whether they have busy jobs and schedules or are being pulled in different directions because of their children.

"I really love for couples to be able to have these daily rituals of 'What is it that we're talking about? Are we having a check-in conversation where we're going to cross our T's and dot our I's and have that shop talk of just the overall function of the household?'" Heck recommends. "Then we're going to create a ritual where we just talk about our dreams and our hopes and really meaningful topics that are going to help to deepen that connection and intimacy."

6. The 2 x 2 x 2 Rule

This rule is all about scheduling quality time and sticking to it. "Every two weeks, you take a date night for a minimum of two hours. Every two months, you're going to get away, and you're going to do an overnight. And then every two years, you're going to get away for a week," Heck explains.

7. The 3 x 3 x 3 Rule

"The three by three by three helps you to establish healthy individual time as well as together time," Heck explains. For couples, this means you spend three hours a week nourishing yourself, which might mean a night out with your friends or getting a massage or exercising by yourself. The other three hours is respecting your partner's alone time or individual time. And the last three hours are spent as a couple—and it doesn't have to be all at once. "It might be 30 minutes every night that just kind of consistently happens, or it might be a date night, or it might be a lunch that you meet up with, but it's a really good way for you to think about how to schedule your time together and how to schedule your time away from one another to nourish yourself."

8. Turn on Your Desire

This is a way to help with intimacy problems, like if find that you are blaming a lack of time on your inability to have sex. Or maybe you feel like you're not in the mood or they're not in the mood. If you can't sync up when you both want to have sex, that could be an issue—especially for couples who have been together for a long time. So it's all about figuring out what turns you on, what turns your partner on, and discussing it with each other.

"We're so mismatched as human beings," Heck says. "It's very difficult. It's almost like flipping coins. How often are you and your partner going to both flip your coins at the same time and land on heads and magically both be desiring intimacy and sexual intimacy together? It's very rare. So if you happen to flip your coin and you land on tails, you might be thinking, 'Okay, I might not feel desire at this moment, but at least I know how I can turn desire on.'"

Heck says spontaneous desire doesn't happen all the time, so it helps to be intentional.

9. Talk About Your Sexual Fantasies

Heck recommends this for newer couples who might not know each other well: "If we can break down that discomfort or that barrier of talking about your fantasies, I think it could be really great for a couple to be able to explore different ways that turn each other on and give you endless ways to please one another."

This one's another tip for newer couples, and it's similar to the daily check-in and ritual we talked about earlier. This can help you sync up your schedules, especially when you aren't too familiar with each other's availability yet. "I think it's really good to just plan ahead, talk about what's going on, talk about how you can prioritize time with one another," Heck says. "I think oftentimes at the root of romance is feeling like you're important to your partner and you're not an afterthought. What I want couples to get ahead of is feeling like they're not an afterthought, but instead they're really intentionally protecting and making that time on their calendar for their partner. It's a good idea to have clear communication earlier rather than later."

10. Have a Designated Time to Talk About Schedules

This is another idea for newer couples, but it can also apply to long-term relationships, too. "I think that it's really helpful to be able to just give yourself a good foundation of saying, 'I didn't get a manual on this, I'm going to be super proactive and just understand how I can be the best at loving this person,'" Heck says.

And from there, she says, you can do your research on ways to improve and grow your relationship, like reading books, watching TED talks, attending workshops. "Just like any new skill that you want to develop, you have to put energy into doing it, and you can't just limp along and be self-taught," she explains. "I think you have to be really intentional about finding good information and trying to apply that information."

11. Realize There's No Manual, But There Are Ways to Develop

This article is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to be used in the place of advice of your physician or other medical professionals. You should always consult with your doctor or healthcare provider first with any health-related questions.

We all get lonely sometimes. That could be the lyric of a song, but it's also 100% the truth. At one point in your life (or maybe a few times), you may feel alone, sad, and isolated. Most of the time, it's a normal feeling.

"Feeling lonely is a normal part of the human experience," explains Amy Cirbus, Ph.D., LMHC, LPC, manager of clinical quality at Talkspace. "It's part of our entire emotional spectrum. Feeling lonely for long periods of time, however, chronic loneliness, is something that can lead to depression and other mental health challenges, and it may be important to reach out for professional support."

While experiencing feelings of loneliness is just another part of being human, there are ways that you can deal with those thoughts. And if these feelings don't seem to go away, or you or someone you know is experiencing depression or other mental health issues, it's important to find help through a professional or the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).

But if the thoughts you are having aren't prolonged or aren't leading to other mental health concerns, there are some ways you can cope. Experts shared with us some steps you can take.

Recognize the Feelings and Signs

"Feeling lonely is a sense of sadness and isolation, feeling disconnected from friends, peers, family, and your community," Cirbus says. "It's not about being alone or with company but rather the degree to which you feel connected within yourself and with others, regardless of whether they're near or far."

Madeleine DiLeonardo, MEd, LPC, NCC, a licensed professional counselor and founder of Mind Body and Soul by DiLeonardo Wellness, says some common signs of feelings include "longing for more connection; feeling bored or unmotivated; or trying to fill a void with external things such as shopping, binge-watching shows, overeating, constantly checking social media as a means of trying to connect or feel validated, or dating people that you are aware are not healthy for you."

Think About the Different Types of Lonliness

It might also be helpful to figure out what kind of loneliness you are experiencing and, as stated above, realize that you don't have to be all by yourself to feel lonely. You can be in a room full of people you know and still have these thoughts. "Different types of loneliness include missing the presence of someone in particular, feeling misunderstood or not accepted, being in a new situation, or not having enough time or energy to connect on a deeper level with yourself or others," DiLeonardo explains.

Understand the Triggers

You'll also want to think about what is contributing to these feelings or thoughts. Sure, it can be because you are having trouble with connection or relationships in your life, but it can also stem from a lack of self-esteem and confidence, according to Cirbus.

And interestingly enough, technology and social media have made it easier to stay in contact with friends and meet new people, but it can also make you feel so, so alone. "It's common today to feel lonely in a world filled with posts and carefully cultivated images," Cirbus explains. "For people who are already suffering from feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem, social media can trigger a deep sense of loneliness and disconnect."

If social media is getting you down, DiLeonardo says it's important to avoid comparison, which can sometimes be easier said than done. Maybe a social media break would come in handy to avoid the temptation of scrolling through your phone and feeling bad about yourself.

Reframe Your Thoughts

This might mean changing the narrative you're telling yourself. "First, notice what you’re telling yourself," Cirbus recommends. "It's easy to create narratives that aren't true but are based on our own fears or assumptions. Focus on what is real. Loneliness is a feeling, not a fact. Let go of thoughts that aren't based in fact or that diminish you. Focus instead on specific things that are true and things you can feel good about."

Get to Know Yourself Better

This can help if you find yourself uncomfortable when you're alone or if you are having some self-esteem problems. "Try to remember that your greatest relationship is with yourself, and getting comfortable with this is key," DiLeonardo explains. "Accept feelings of loneliness as they come, and know that this does not need to be a permanent feeling. Get to know yourself. Learn what you like to do alone. Take yourself out on a date to get coffee or to the movies."

Create an Action Plan

After acknowledging your feelings and what is contributing to it, you can create an action plan. "Engage in an activity that you truly enjoy," Cirbus suggests. "It helps to ground you and create connections within yourself. Reach out and initiate contact with a friend or friends, someone who truly sees you and values you. Or recharge by getting outside and simply being with people. The energy of those around you in an exercise class, local coffee shop, dog park, or farmers market can help you feel connected to your community."

Focus on Your Relationships

If you are feeling disconnected from your family and friends, take a closer look at them and see what might be causing these thoughts. "Try calling a friend you haven't spoken to in a while or connecting on a deeper level with the people that are currently in your life," DiLeonardo says. "Brené Brown reminds us that vulnerability is the quickest way to human connection, so sharing how you are feeling and being authentic can really help."

Practice Small Talk

"Practicing small talk is another thing that helps. The human connection we can feel when striking up conversation with the barista or helping someone we see out in public should not be overlooked," DiLeonardo adds.

Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

This might seem daunting when you're already having vulnerable feelings, but it can help give you a new perspective or expose you to new and fulfilling moments. Try a new hobby, make conversation, or join a new group. "Initially this can be anxiety-provoking, but we have to start somewhere and try to challenge ourselves in a way that may feel scary in the short term but ultimately help us feel better in the long run," DiLeonardo explains. "Things like volunteering, joining a group of like-minded people either online or in your community, and having new experiences are also great things to do."

How to Enjoy Alone Time

Sometimes you might feel lonely because you don't enjoy alone time or have trouble being by yourself. But having "me" time is as important as spending time with others.

It might take a shift in thought or some time to feel comfortable being alone with yourself, but it's rewarding when done correctly, DiLeonardo explains. "Being alone allows for space to think and process feelings, which is also a good thing," she says. "It may feel strange at first, but being intentional with your alone time is a healthy thing to do. Start by acknowledging any awkward or uncomfortable feelings when alone, feel and address these feelings, and then try to settle in to an activity or just accept being at peace with downtime for yourself."

To incorporate alone time into your life, Cirbus recommends setting aside regular opportunities for it. "Start small, in your own space, and do something you like," she says. "Pick a TV show, book, or new recipe. Put on some music and rearrange a closet. Instill fun in your alone time. Get to know yourself. Experiment with different activities. Then venture out by yourself. Go for a walk. Get coffee. Focus on the joys of not having to compromise or share your energy. It's all about you! Over time and with intentional practice, it does get easier."

And remember to take it easy on yourself and realize there's no exact way to do it.

Next up: Taking 15 Mins for Myself Every Day Made Me a Kinder Mom, Wife, and Friend

This article is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to be used in the place of advice of your physician or other medical professionals. You should always consult with your doctor or healthcare provider first with any health-related questions.

When thinking about compatibility in romantic relationships, we might think about common interests and shared values and goals. And if you want to take it to the next level, you might consult astrological birth charts or numerology too. (Side note, but if anyone out there knows the best way to ask the person you've just started dating for their birth time, we would like to know).

Another factor when it comes to compatibility is personality, like being an introvert or an extrovert. When you're in a relationship with someone who seems like the polar opposite of you, it can seem like a red flag. But, hey, sometimes, opposites attract and you might find yourself an extrovert dating an introvert or vice versa. To keep the relationship healthy and growing, it's all about creating a balance.

Introverts and extroverts have different needs and ways of fulfilling those needs. "That presents a really interesting tension because introverts and extroverts want to connect with their partner but they want to connect in a way that's going to fill them up," says Laura Heck, LMFT, who teaches the Seven Principles Leader Training Program at the Gottman Institute and co-hosts Marriage Therapy Radio. "One person wants to do one thing, one person wants to do the other, and how do you manage that tension? That comes up all the time in relationships."

To figure out how to navigate that tension, we asked Heck and two other therapists for their tips, whether you're an introvert or an extrovert.

If You're an Introvert in a Relationship

Introverts tend to get classified as people who are timid, anti-social, or even nervous, but that can be an overgeneralization. "Being introverted does not necessarily mean that someone is shy, and the main difference between being introverted and extroverted is in regards to how energy is gained," explains Madeleine DiLeonardo, MEd, LPC, NCC, a licensed professional counselor and founder of Mind Body and Soul by DiLeonardo Wellness. "Introverts typically do not like being the center of attention, need a significant amount of alone time, can be overwhelmed by large gatherings or events, and value quality time."

If you're an introvert, you might need more time to recharge after spending time with others, explains Joanna Filidor, LMFT. That doesn't necessarily mean you are anti-social—you just need more alone time to energize and you might enjoy the company of others in more intimate settings.

"Introverts also tend to value slowly building trust within a relationship as well as spending quality time together," DiLeonardo adds. For those who are in a relationship with an introvert, she says being able to understand those needs and providing space for them can be valuable.

If You're an Extrovert in a Relationship

"Extroverts feel energized by communication and engaging with others, tend to be very social, are often comfortable in group settings, enjoy stimulating activities, and value direct expression of feelings within relationships," DiLeonardo says.

An extrovert might want to unwind by going out and spending time with lots of friends. Heck says, "The extrovert comes home and they are exhausted by their workweek and they're looking at their partner and looking in the fridge and they're like, 'I just don't want to eat at home tonight, I want to go out. Not only do I want to go out, but I want to call six of my closest friends and I want to meet up at the local noisy and packed bar and grill, and I want to be out until three o'clock in the morning and then maybe head over to somebody's house for an after-party.'"

If you're in a relationship with an extrovert, it will be helpful to give them space to talk things out, since some might need to express their emotions in real-time to process and address any issues. "Additionally, if you have an extroverted partner, you can encourage them to talk and spend time with others, as this tends to be energizing for these types of individuals," she recommends.

What to Do in an Introvert-Extrovert Relationship

If one person values alone time while the other feels fulfilled by going out and being in big groups of people, it might seem that that can lead to a lot of conflict or differences. This is where compromise comes in and communication. Here are a couple of things to be mindful of…

Deal With Conflict

It's important to remember that conflict is natural and unavoidable in relationships. "Dr. Gottman had said that in relationships when there's conflict, 69% of that conflict is going to be unsolvable," Heck says of the renowned relationship expert's take on the subject. "It's going to be based on these fundamental differences between people. When you sign up to be in a relationship with someone, you're essentially signing up for 69% of these tensions to arise because of the fundamental differences in personalities of who you are as a human being."

Introverts and extroverts deal with conflict differently. "Introverts may face conflict regarding wanting alone time or not wanting to address conflict right away," DiLeonardo says. "Instead of wanting to process, introverts often value time to themselves; the ability to process internally before expressing things outwardly. If an introverted person can express their needs and desired outcomes to their partner, their partner can be aware of this and not take this personally but instead understand why the individual may sometimes need some space." Extroverts, on the other hand, might want to address the conflict right then and there.

To help both parties, Filidor recommends a 20- to 30-minute break so everyone can self-regulate. It will give the introvert more time to process, while the time won't seem too long for the extrovert who wants to deal with the issue head-on. "Differences on conflict resolution can be one of the biggest causes of conflict," she says. "It's important to be clear about what the needs and expectations are of one another when conflict arises or when there's tension."

Communicate

Like any relationship, communication is key. That includes letting your partner know your needs and preferences so they don't misread a situation. "Since introverts tend to rely on alone time to recharge, if the introvert is with an extrovert who tends to recharge with others, this need might be perceived as a withdrawal from the person or the relationship," Filidor says. "It is important to have a conversation early on with that partner to explain what those needs are and to explain that these reactions are not personal."

Understand Their Needs

This goes hand-in-hand with both points above. It's important to respect and understand each other's preferences and boundaries, especially when it comes to conflict or disagreements. "Respecting that each party is different and has different needs is important to find a compromise," Filidor adds.

That also means respecting your introvert partner's need for alone time, or your extrovert partner's need to go out and see friends.

Don't Try to Change Them

I mean, how many times have you read that or been told that? It can be impossible to change someone—and inadvisable. "In any relationship, it's important to remember the goal is not to change someone, but instead to understand each other's needs and support each other," DiLeonardo says. "There can certainly be value in being in a relationship with someone different than you in this way."

Align Goals in Social Settings

Things can get tough for introvert-extrovert couples in social settings. The extrovert might want to mingle about the room at the party and talk to everyone, while the introvert might want to sit down and talk to just a few people. This can lead to feelings of abandonment or frustration. Heck says it's important to have a game plan for these situations and understand what's the goal for the event or night.

She says that might mean having a conversation before the party or event, where the introvert might ask the extrovert if they can spend some time together alone in a corner for a bit, and then once they've had some quality time, the extrovert can make a lap around the room and socialize.

"You might have a goal of 'I want to connect with my friends,' whereas your partner, the introvert, has a goal of 'I want to connect with my partner,'" she explains. "If your goals are not aligned, you're going to miss each other. That's where miscommunication happens. So it might just be saying, 'What's the objective of tonight?'"

Find Things to Do Together

When an extrovert wants to spend a lot of time with a lot of people and an introvert prefers smaller, intimate settings, you both might miss connecting with each other. It's like the scenario above, where you're at a party and the introvert partner is hanging back, while the extrovert is walking around the room—you're going to miss spending time together. So it's all about compromise here.

Heck suggests that couples "be more intentional about trying to find things that they can do together that they both really enjoy so that they are getting that balance."

And If You're Not in an Introvert-Extrovert Relationship

It's not all smooth sailing if you're in an introvert-introvert or extrovert-extrovert relationship. Just because you have similar personalities and preferences doesn't mean there won't be some conflict or issues that arise. Here's what to look out for…

Heck says introvert-introvert couples can be secluded, but they do want to connect with other people. They might socialize by inviting another couple over and have a nice quiet evening entertaining them.

But when it comes to conflict, there can be some avoidance. "In an introvert-introvert relationship, it's likely that there is a tendency to avoid confrontation and conflict resolution," Filidor says. "This can cause resentments which can impact the relationship. To address this, it is necessary for both partners to become active participants in these moments of conflict resolution. There are many tools and steps a couple can take to learn how to confront these challenging issues."

Filidor's advice for these types of couples? "Push each other to do fun activities that get you both out of your comfort zone, learn to communicate your feelings, and engage in conflict resolution in a healthy way," she says.

Heck says extroverts are rarely at home and normally will be out with lots of friends, which might mean that sometimes they might not get a lot of alone time together. So, being able to carve some quality time apart from social situations is important for these couples.

As for conflict, it can get heated. "Two extroverts in a relationship can experience more reactivity during conflict," Filidor says. "It is important to schedule a 20- or 30-minute break to self-regulate first prior to continuing."

What to keep in mind if you're in an extrovert-extrovert relationship? "Learn to identify ways to build intimacy with one another at home instead of out in a social setting. Create a routine to wind down with one another, take turns speaking, and self-regulate when conflict becomes reactive," Filidor recommends.

Next: 17 Ways to Stop Online Dating From Ruining Your Mental Health

This story was originally published at an earlier date and has been updated.

This article is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to be used in the place of advice of your physician or other medical professionals. You should always consult with your doctor or healthcare provider first with any health-related questions.

Ah, social media. How has it made our lives better and easier but also worse and harder at the same time? Sure, we can get news and life updates that much quicker, but there's a whole host of other problems and quirks that arise from being on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, TikTok, etc.

When it comes to relationships, social media has created a whole new ball game. We're not talking romantic ones here (that deserves its own novel, or book series, library…). We're talking about friendships. It's so easy to stay in contact with friends and even make some new ones through DMs or text messages or "likes," but it can be much harder to have meaningful connections or bonding moments when you're doing it virtually.

"Social media has certainly shifted the way we communicate and relate to the world around us," says Madeleine DiLeonardo, MEd, LPC, NCC, a licensed professional counselor and founder of Mind Body and Soul by DiLeonardo Wellness. "In some ways, we are able to remain connected to friends who are far away or whom we do not get to see regularly in person, and this is great. However, it's important to note that while sending memes back and forth allows for continued contact, investing in friendships on a deeper level is an important part of maintaining positive relationships. When we 'like' something online, we perceive this as feeling connected to the person. However, human connection requires that we invest more deeply than that."

Dare we say that social media and technology have made us a little bit lazier when it comes to our friendships? I know that I've been guilty of that at times. There have been moments when I've realized I haven't caught up with someone in a long time, and instead of calling them, I decided to just comment on their latest Instagram post or reply to their story. I know, yikes.

To atone for being a not-so-good friend (and maybe help others out there who need some pointers, too), I reached out to a few experts to find out how to navigate friendships virtually and IRL. Here's what they had to say.

1. Pick Up the Phone

Gulp. As a classic millennial, I am very phone-averse. I barely call my own mother. (We text, and I visit her every two weeks—don't worry). But anyway, now that texting and DMs and emails are available to us, calling someone can be so foreign. But a phone call is sometimes better than a virtual message, especially if you're talking to a friend who doesn't live near you.

"While the convenience of sending a message is undeniable and amazing, I still think it's important to pick up the phone and call friends every once in a while," Myka Meier, founder and director of Beaumont Etiquette and the Plaza Hotel Finishing Program and author of Modern Etiquette Made Easy. "For example on a birthday for a close friend, it has so much more emphasis nowadays to show you put the effort into calling them. Of course, a text or message is always nice to receive, but hearing someone's voice really can help people reconnect."

2. Meet Up in Person

With conflicting schedules or distance, it might be tough to find time to actually see your friends IRL. But it's important to try to get something in the books. "I think scheduling an in-person visit, whether it be over coffee, dinner, or a night out where possible, is a great way to keep a strong connection with any relationship," Meier says. "When meeting someone in person, it's important while speaking to them to put your phone away and focus on the person in front of you. Not only will it help you connect and build rapport, but it will make them feel that during the time you are together, they are the priority, which always feels good as a friend."

3. Check In

And we mean really check in and show interest in what your friend is doing or what's going on with their lives. "To be a better friend this year, take the time to reach out to friends and check in on how they're doing," suggests Elizabeth Hinkle, LMFT, LCMFT, a Talkspace therapist, adolescent peer consultant, and coach. "We easily make assumptions that all is well if we see a happy-looking photo on Instagram, which usually is not the whole story. When you are with friends in person, put your devices away to be fully present."

4. Be Mindful of Their Preferences

Maybe you have a friend who prefers phone calls, or you have another one who only likes texting. Keep those things in mind when you're getting in touch. "As a general rule, it's important to call or talk in person when you have something to say that goes beyond a few texts," Hinkle says. "However, this can depend on the person and what they're comfortable with. Some people enjoy phone calls while others are happy to text back and forth all day long. Knowing your friend and their preferences is important."

5. Be Patient

We all have that one friend who is terrible at responding to texts but who you know is looking at their phone because they just liked your Instagram post or tweeted something. Or maybe YOU are that friend. It can be frustrating to be on the receiving end of that, but you've got to be a little patient.

"I think it's important to give someone time to answer, and it may require a little bit of patience, as you never know what is going on in their life," Meier says. "I also think everyone has been guilty one time or another of meaning to respond but being sidetracked and forgetting and only realizing later. When that has happened to me and I am waiting for a reply, I will nudge once with a follow-up text a day or so later—but I'd recommend using caution before sending more than one follow-up because at that point, they have definitely seen your message."

6. Make an Effort

Sometimes we might take our friendships for granted, and think they'll always be there, but friendships require work, too. "Just making the effort can really matter," DiLeonardo says. "I recently had a long-distance friend text me in January and acknowledge how busy we all are but asked if we could find a weekend in April to plan a get-together. I remember thinking that the thought behind that meant so much to me, and it's worth looking ahead and trying to find time to spend quality time together."

7. Show Up and Be Authentic

Be there for your friends, whether it's through text, DMs, or in person—especially during challenging or tough times. "I often hear clients worry that they are not sure what to say or how to act if they are trying to be a good friend to someone going through a challenging situation," DiLeonardo explains. "Just showing up and demonstrating support is often enough. You do not need to be perfect or always have the right thing to say. My dad always reminds me, 'If it's done with love, that is what matters.' I try to remind clients that if you are coming from a good place and showing up for your people, that's where the impact lies." And let your friends be their most authentic, human selves around you—even if it's messy. She says that is one of the greatest gifts you can give a friend.

8. Prioritize

There might be a point where you realize some of your friendships have changed, or you've grown apart, or the relationship might have turned toxic. While it can be very upsetting, it's also normal. This is where prioritizing and taking stock of your friendships can help. "Take a look at who is contributing to your life in ways that feel supportive and positive," Hinkle says. "Some friendships can be draining when the other person is taking more than they're giving. Think about your priorities for friendships and what a true friend means to you."

9. Cut Through the Noie

In the same vein as above, you might find that because social media makes it so easy to be "friends" with so many people, it can be exhausting at times to keep up with everything. Take the prioritization from above and take some action on your feeds.

"Because we are connected to so many people online, we are often exposed to the lives of a lot more people," DiLeonardo says. "My suggestion to clients is often to cut out the noise. Go through your social media feed and hide the things or people that don't add value for you to see, and prioritize connecting more with close friends. You can also utilize the features that allow you to create a 'best friends' list and share/interact with the people closest to you. In the age of social media, it's possible to feel close to people because we often witness what is going on with them through their online platforms, but it's important to not confuse this for true and deep connection."

10. Be Aware of FOMO 

Now that a lot of people are broadcasting their everyday actions through social media, there may come a time when you see all your friends hanging out without you. Or you might feel a general sense of loneliness. "The facts remain that you may not be invited to everything, even if you're an amazing person and friend," Hinkle says. "If this happens to you and it is bothering you longer than a day or two, it may be worth telling your friend, 'I felt hurt when I saw you doing X without me.'"

It might also help to take a step back from technology if you are feeling sad or angry. "Implementing boundaries around this is really important, meaning if you notice that you are experiencing FOMO or are upset about being left out, put your phone down and try to invest more in your own time that evening rather than watching what is going on elsewhere," DiLeonardo suggests.

And if you are the person who's (inadvertently?) excluding someone, just being aware of your actions can go a long way. You don't need to post everything that's happening. "To be aware of not doing this to someone else, follow the Golden Rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated," Hinkle says. "You and your friend group could consider and discuss not posting pictures on social media."

11. Treat Someone the Same Way Online and IRL 

"Just because we are behind screens, it doesn't mean that you should treat people any differently than if you were to be in front of them," Meier says. "This really is referring to people often saying things that they would never say in person. Online bullying is a real epidemic, and I think we all must treat one another with kindness, respect, and consideration always. One way to nurture and grow a friendship is to show support to anyone you have a friendship with, especially online. Liking their photos, spreading positive thoughts to people in comments, and uplifting and supporting your online friends is crucial."

Next up: 5 Ways to Practice Digital Wellness

This article is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to be used in the place of advice of your physician or other medical professionals. You should always consult with your doctor or healthcare provider first with any health-related questions.

Here's a hard truth almost all of us know: Relationships are complicated. And they're all unique, too. How one relationship progresses might differ from another relationship. What's important to two partners might not be as important to another pair. A relationship's circumstances can be so different, so it's hard to compare yours to another's.

But there is one truth that is common for pretty much all relationships: They take a lot of effort and work. And they're not going to be perfect all of the time. When you and your partner are continuously working to improve and grow your relationship (no matter how long you've been together), your efforts will likely pay off in the form of a healthy relationship.

"Be prepared and willing to work on the relationship," says therapist Rachel O'Neill, PhD. "There's sometimes a myth that a good relationship is one that's easy, and that's simply not true. Like all relationships in our lives, a healthy romantic relationship requires time and attention. Be prepared to invest in working with your partner to make the relationship move forward."

So how do you know if your relationship is healthy, and what are some signs that you need to work on some parts of it? We asked two therapists, O'Neill and Madeleine DiLeonardo, MEd, LPC, NCC, a licensed professional counselor and founder of Mind Body and Soul by DiLeonardo Wellness, for some common signs of healthy relationships and advice on how to improve them. See what they had to say below.

Signs of a Healthy Relationship

1. There Is Trust

Both therapists agree that trust is very important. Trust can mean a variety of things. For instance, you have confidence in them and their feelings for you; you know they will be there for you; and you know they're being real and honest. And of course, they should have the same level of trust in you, too.

"Even new relationships should have a foundation of trust," O'Neill says. "Without a foundation of trust, individuals within the relationship are more likely to feel a general sense of unease. When individuals know that they are being treated with honest and fair respect, they're more likely to feel comfortable within the relationship."

2. There Is Mutual Respect

It's not just an Aretha Franklin song. Both therapists cited mutual respect as another hallmark of a healthy relationship—meaning there is admiration and value on both sides.

3. There is Collaboration

O'Neill says collaboration is key, meaning "partners feel a sense of equality within the relationship." You're both working together to make it better and make sure both of your needs are being met.

4. There's a Feeling of Comfort

"In healthy relationships, individuals tend to feel a sense of comfort when they are with a person, and when they aren't with them, they tend to think of them or look forward to the next time that they might be with them," O'Neill explains. "In general, I think we can learn a lot about how we're feeling in a relationship simply by checking in on how we feel when we're with someone and when we are without them."

5. There's a Sense of Fondness and Love

This one is kind of a given, but it's another trait that DiLeonardo considers healthy. While newer relationships might not have the love aspect down just yet, there should be some attraction and like there. 

6. You Make Communication a Priority

"First, healthy communication means making communication a priority," O'Neill says. "Second, healthy communication means using opportunities for face-to-face communication instead of via text or via call. Third, healthy communication involves talking about what's working in the relationship and what's not working. And last, healthy communication means being okay with the idea of being vulnerable and sharing your needs within the relationship."

You should also feel like you are able to openly discuss your feelings, are actively checking in with each other, and are figuring out how you can meet each other's needs, DiLeonardo adds. "Being proactive in communication can also be really helpful," she says. "Outside of discussing the day-to-day, finding time to check in on a deeper level is very valuable. Some people do this as a date night, and others treat it more as a meeting to provide space for meaningful conversation that we sometimes are unable to have in our busy daily lives."

7. Both Your Needs Are Being Met

This includes your sexual needs. "I think the idea of collaboration really fits here," O'Neill explains. "A healthy sex life is one in which both partners feel like their needs are being met. It means the partners feel comfortable asking for what they want within the sexual relationship, and they feel that their partner is willing to explore with them ways to facilitate their sexual wellness."

Communication is key when it comes to your sex life. "Are you able to discuss likes, dislikes, and desires?" DiLeonardo says. "Are you feeling confident to express when you aren't feeling connected sexually or physically, or the times you feel most connected? Often for women, sex and emotion are interconnected, and being connected emotionally leads to a healthier sex life."

8. You Are Your Own Self Outside of the Relationship

It's important to make sure you still keep your individuality. "Having and maintaining your own sense of self absolutely contributes to a stronger relationship," DiLeonardo says. "Our partners cannot meet all of our needs—that is why we have best friends, family members, etc. Supporting each other in fostering these individual relationships or pursuing individual interests does not detract from a relationship but actually strengthens it."

9. You Feel Confident in How the Other Person Feels

This is related to trust but is especially important in newer relationships. "Feeling confident about whether this person is interested in you is an important part of a new relationship," DiLeonardo says. "If the person's actions or words are confusing, or you find yourself needing to do detective work to determine how the other person is really feeling, this is typically a red flag." Again, an open line of communication can help here.

10. You're Being Authentic

This one's another important sign for newer relationships, which makes a lot of sense but is sometimes hard to do. When we're with someone new, there's a lot of pressure to impress and give them the best version of yourself, which can sometimes mean pretending to be something that you're not. This can lead to problems later on.

"In a new relationship, people can often feel nervous or uncertain as a result of navigating the new dynamic," DiLeonardo explains. "What's most important to focus on is that you feel that your values align with this person and that you are presenting authentically. By being your authentic self, you can start the relationship in a healthy way."

11. You Can Have Hard Conversations

Those tough conversations can be, well, tough. And sometimes it's much easier to sweep them under the rug or try to forget them. But in a healthy relationship, you should feel like you can tackle them, no matter how hard they are.

"In a long-term relationship, the ability to have hard conversations and work through challenges while trusting that the relationship can remain intact is a great sign," DiLeonardo says. "We often fear conflict or talking about hard things, but addressing the challenges and working through them together is a key factor in a positive relationship. If you are able to acknowledge challenging feelings like anger and frustration while understanding that you can work through this together, that is a key aspect of a healthy relationship."

12. You're Having Fun

It doesn't have to be serious all the time, especially in long-term relationships. Where's the fun in that? "[There should be] a sense of fun and joy! Make sure that you can laugh together and find ways to enjoy life and connect in different ways after many years together," DiLeonardo says.

How to Improve Your Relationship

After reading this, you might find that there are a few points you and your partner need to work on. O'Neill and DiLeonardo shared some thought-starters below.

Take a Monthly Inventory

"Ask each other things like, 'Are we having fun together? What do you need from me this month? What can we be doing to support each other in our personal and professional goals?'" DiLeonardo suggests.

Keep in mind that you've got to make an effort if you want to make things work. "Remembering that relationships take work is key," DiLeonardo says. "Love and passion are great aspects of relationships, yes, but the repeated investment in your relationship and showing up for each other is what allows for longevity."

Sometimes you might need outside help, like seeing a therapist, and that's more than fine. "If it feels like you've hit a roadblock within the relationship or if it feels like a problem or issue may be too big to address on your own, seeking counseling can be a great way to have a neutral third party help mediate the difficulty," O'Neill says. "I often ask people to think about how counseling can help them meet their relationship goals. For example, if your goal is to change your partner, then counseling probably isn't the best use of your time. But if your goal is to work on communication, then it's certainly possible that having the space of relationship counseling can provide you the opportunity to work on that goal together."

Next: How to Create Meaningful Relationships IRL in the Age of Social Media

This article was originally published at an earlier date and has since been updated.

This article is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to be used in the place of advice of your physician or other medical professionals. You should always consult with your doctor or healthcare provider first with any health-related questions.

Not to overgeneralize, but for a lot of us, it's hard to say no. So difficult that sometimes the word "no" doesn't seem to be a part of our vocabulary. This can be especially true for women—again, not speaking for all women on this planet, but maybe a big chunk of the female population?

If you have a hard time saying no, you know how it goes: You say yes, yes, yes to everything and then you find yourself overwhelmed, overrun, overtired, etc. By saying yes to too much, you can stretch yourself thin, whether it's in your professional or personal life. This can lead to more stress and even burnout.

But why can't we say no? Elizabeth Hinkle, LMFT, LCMFT, Talkspace therapist, adolescent peer consultant, and coach has an explanation: "Humans are naturally people pleasers; and particularly those of us who grew up as girls get many messages about doing for others, being nice, and helping. Part of being a person is connecting and helping others; however, some of us take it too far! It's easy to start tying our worth in with how much we're doing, how busy we are, and how much we're helping to our own detriment."

Another reason we might have trouble with saying no is that it can be hard to own up to the fact that we can't do something. Madeleine DiLeonardo, MEd, LPC, NCC, a licensed professional counselor and founder of Mind Body and Soul by DiLeonardo Wellness, thinks that our world of phones and social media makes it easier to flake out or "ghost" instead of being direct. "For many people, it can feel uncomfortable to firmly say no without feeling the need to justify why we can't do something," she says. "And of course, we do compare ourselves to others or feel like we need to do it all, which exacerbates this feeling."

But if you say yes all the time, you'll probably get to a point where you can't physically do it all. You could run yourself ragged and put your health at risk. Or you could mess up the tasks at hand or overlook something important (like a big presentation or project at work) if you can't focus because you've got so many things happening at once. You might think you're letting people down by saying no, but by saying yes to everything, you could also disappoint others, too. It can be a domino effect.

Now, of course, there may be times when you can't say no to things. You can't really tell your boss you can't be bothered with working on a report because you've got a lot of projects going on at once—that might require a larger discussion about your workload. Or it would be impossible to say no to something like taking your grandma to the doctor when no one else can. It's about saying no to something within reason—and there are a couple of ways to change your mindset around this.

"When you consider saying no to something, what comes up for you?" asks Hinkle. "How does being more productive tie into your self-worth? What's it like for you to say no? Weighing the pros and cons of taking on the next task before you accept can be a useful strategy and gives you that moment to pause before committing. At work, strategize with your supervisor about tasks you're doing and limits you can set."

DiLeonardo agrees that taking time to make a decision about what you want to do and what's best for you can really help prioritize. And she adds, "You are not required to do everything that is asked of you. A helpful way to shift your thinking is to identify that just because you do not have anything formally scheduled, does not mean that you are free."

All of the above might sound good and all, but if you're still finding it tough to say no, there are some other tips and strategies you can use and keep in mind:

"[Know] what's feasible and that it's not possible to do everything—at least not all at once!" Hinkle says. "For example, if this is your season for raising small children, that's likely your priority. You'll be able to volunteer or contribute more in a different way at some point in the future. It may help to think of your 'no' as, 'not right now.'"

DiLeonardo asks her clients to think of their weeks as a whole and try to identify what balance looks like for them. "Of course not every week or month is going to have the same balance, but we need to look at these larger chunks of time in order to determine our bandwidth and what we feel we can take on," she says. "This can vary from week to week, and that's okay." She also suggests thinking about the activity or task and contemplating if it energizes you, brings you joy, or will make you burnt out.

Coming to terms with the fact that you're not going to please everyone is important. "It's okay to let someone down and have them experience disappointment; everyone will survive this and be okay!" Hinkle says. "One aspect to explore is how to tolerate someone being disappointed with you."

It helps to realize that a person is entitled to that negative response they may give you because you said no, even though it's hard to be on the receiving end of that. "The key is to not internalize this in a way that makes you feel like you did something wrong," DiLeonardo says. "If you can have confidence that you have made the right decision for you, it reduces the feelings of guilt regardless of the response you receive."

If you're sincere with your compassion, this can help ease the disappointment. "You can always add phrases to show compassion, such as 'I wish I could be more of help,' to give the impression that you feel compassion for their situation," suggests Myka Meier, founder and director of Beaumont Etiquette and the Plaza Hotel's Finishing Program, and author of the upcoming book, Modern Etiquette Made Easy. "When someone is in need, they can be frustrated when you say no, so to let them down easy, showing compassion and care in the way you reply is a good way to do this."

If you waver, it shows that you could be convinced otherwise. Be firm and direct. "Depending on the request, you should let the person know that you're unable to help them, but offer an alternative depending on what they're asking for," Meier advises. "Just make sure when offering an alternative, you are not involved in it! For example, if you won't be able to babysit your nephew again, you could say 'I already have plans for the weekend, but I know there is this great new babysitting agency app that all my friends are using.'" She also warns against making excuses that aren't true because you could be found out, and that's a whole other awkward situation.

This goes along with not making up an excuse that isn't true. "As women, I think we are often looking out for others or don't want to hurt people's feelings," DiLeonardo says. "However, it sometimes becomes more stressful to make an excuse instead of clearly stating something more straightforward like, 'I'm not up for that right now,' or 'Thanks a lot for thinking of me, but I can't make it.' Additionally, when you offer a justification or excuse, it can leave an opening for people to push back (like offering a different date or time)."

Knowing who you're saying no to is important, especially when it comes to the workplace, because your answer and approach may differ. Saying no to your boss might be different than saying no to your co-worker or direct report. It also depends on the situation, too.

Meier suggests that if you're saying no to your boss, you can say something like, "I always love to be of help where possible. I currently am working on XYZ, however, if this takes precedence, I can switch gears and focus on this task instead." Or you can suggest what resources would be helpful in completing the tasks.

For colleagues, Meier advises being direct so it's not up in the air whether you can do something or not. "You may feel that you can be more casual in your response to a co-worker versus a boss or manager, but in either situation, you would want to be respectful in your reply," she says.

Hinkle suggests using these phrases that might be helpful in your execution:

"I'm not able to help with that right now."

"Unfortunately, this won't work for me at this time."

"I have too many commitments to be able to fully focus on this."

"I'd like to help you find someone else to do this."

"I'm able to do that next month."

You might be compelled to say "sorry"—in fact, for a lot of us, saying that word is a reflex or second nature. "You don't need to apologize if you're not truly sorry, but you should avoid being curt with your answers," Meier says.

Keep this in mind so you can treat the situation with respect. "If it was texted, you can text them back; if it is asked in person and you know the answer, say it," Meier advises. "The exception is if you want to think it over before replying, or if the person asking on the phone always seems to convince you to do something you don't want to do. Then reply in a well-thought-out and definitive email or text, depending on the formality of the relationship." She also says there's no rule that you can't call someone if they emailed or texted you. I know, a phone call—to millennials that can be pretty scary—but it might make the delivery much easier.

Next up: The 7 Scary Health Effects of Burnout and What to Do About It

This article is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to be used in the place of advice of your physician or other medical professionals. You should always consult with your doctor or healthcare provider first with any health-related questions.

At one time or another, pretty much all of us will have cohabitated with someone else—whether it was living in your childhood home with family, sharing a dorm room with a random roommate in college, living in an apartment with friends, or taking the plunge and moving in with your significant other. No matter the scenario, if you've lived with someone else, you know that it's not all smooth sailing. Fights can happen. Passive aggressive behavior like shouty sticky notes may appear. Friendships or relationships could turn sour. When you live with someone, you see how they are when they're on their A-game, and, well, when they're not. 

While all of these stressful situations might arise from cohabitation, there are some ways to avoid them. Communication and some ground rules are key. So to help, we polled our staff and Facebook group for their rules for living with someone else. Take a look at our list below, and if you have some you'd like to share with us, send a DM or comment on our Instagram @thethirty.

1. Talk About Routines and Preferences

You'll want to do this even before move-in day, that way everyone is on the same page from the get-go. Be upfront about your preferences and non-negotiables, and hear the other out. Can't stand the sight of dirty dishes? Now's the time to let that be known. Is your roommate, partner, or family member an early riser who needs to shower first thing? They should let you know so you know how to share the bathroom in the mornings.

One person in our Facebook Group said, "I think it's helpful to have a conversation early on before you both head into a routine—makes it much less awkward and helps avoid letting any pent-up feelings brew."

2. Keep an Open Mind

Another tip from our Facebook Group: "Be receptive to feedback and adjust your own routine! You both come from different backgrounds and have your own habits (good or bad), so be open to bending your own rules once in a while. It'll make you a more flexible, easygoing person overall and likely improve your relationship with your roomie." If the other person is going to great lengths to abide by your rules, you should do the same, too.

3. Don't Use or Take Anything Without Asking First

Sure, it might be tempting to eat those leftovers your roommate left in the fridge. Or to use your sister's fancy shampoo because you're too lazy to get your own. But, sooner or later, you'll be found out, and what happens afterwards might not be pretty.

One person in our Facebook Group said, "Respect each other things and wishes! Food, clothes, perfume. Don't borrow anything without asking—and getting an answer—first."

4. Discuss Finances Upfront

You might already know how you're splitting up rent or the monthly mortgage payments, but what some people forget to talk about it is how you're going to split up shared expenses like utility bills, household items (toilet paper and cleaning supplies), and other extra services (like a monthly cleaning service). It might help to have everything in writing and in a communal area so everyone's on the same page—and make sure you know who's in charge of paying certain bills and how to pay them back and vice versa.

If you're living with family, it would also be helpful to see how you can contribute to the household financially, too. Right now, since I moved back to Los Angeles from New York City, I'm living with my mom for the time being while I find a new apartment. Before I moved back, I made it a point to ask my mom how she wanted me to contribute. She's graciously let me live with her rent-free until I find a place, but I've been picking up the utilities and groceries tab. 

5. Try to Touch Base Frequently

You don't have to have a meeting every week, but make it a point to check in with whomever you're living with—whether it's a text or just a chat when everyone is home. It gives you time to catch up on each other's personal lives and what you going on at the moment at work or socially, and lets you discuss any issues or concerns. Sounds very grown-up, right?

6. Go Over Your Décor Styles

7. Talk About How You Want to Use the Communal Spaces

Is it okay for your roommate to do yoga in the living room? Are you allowed to take over the whole fridge for meal prep? Can your partner display whatever collectables they have next to the sitting area? These questions and so many more will come up. It's helpful to discuss how and what you want to do with the communal areas, like the kitchen and living room.

8. Always Give a Heads Up Before Having People Over

9. Communicate With Your Family

Sometimes it might feel a little too casual and comfortable living with your family, so it's nice to set some boundaries and open the lines of communication. One member of Facebook group lives with her parents and gave this smart idea (that I'm tempted to try while I'm living with my mom): "To keep everyone on the same page, I send them 'briefing' emails before I leave for work (super early) with the dinner plans, reminders, and agenda for the day, plus funny stories or articles that I think they'd like. It keeps us all in the know, connected and sane without being overwhelming."

10. Split Up the Chores

This one's pretty much mandatory—things can get really tense when the dishes pile up, or the bathroom tile starts sprouting mushrooms (sorry for the gross visualization, but this actually happened to someone I know). If you need to make a chore chart, do it—but we're all adults here, so everyone has got to do their share.

11. Try to Be Tidy

12. Discuss Any New Additions to the Household

It's definitely not a good idea to get a pet without conferring with whomever you live with first. If you are living with a pet, make sure you set up some ground rules for responsibilities—if it's your roommate's dog, are you responsible for cleaning up after it? Or, if you're co-parenting with your partner, who's in charge of the morning and evening walks?

13. Find Ways to Keep the Romance Alive

Okay, yes this sounds like cheesy relationship column speak, but it's true. Your relationship may change a bit when you move in with your partner. So keep that in mind as you're going about your days—surprises like a home-cooked meal, a bouquet of flowers, or even a spontaneous date night can make a big difference.

14. Prioritize Alone Time

Some solo time will do everyone good, so make sure you fit some alone time into your daily routine. If you have roommates or family, maybe it's letting them know that if your door is closed, you don't want to be disturbed. If you live with a partner, that might mean deciding on a time where you both can do your own thing in different parts of the space.

15. Establish Quiet Hours

This can help avoid any ragers at 4 a.m. While they don't have to be set in stone, setting up some boundaries when it comes to quiet time can make a world of difference, no matter who you live with. As for noisy neighbors, well, that's another problem.

Next up: 9 Things to Buy for a Healthier Bedroom

This article is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to be used in the place of advice of your physician or other medical professionals. You should always consult with your doctor or healthcare provider first with any health-related questions.

The mind-body connection, in all its interconnected glory, explains why the stress of toxic relationships is so detrimental to our overall wellness. Basically, toxic relationships don't just feel like getting punched in the face; they pose physical risks, too.

Shahida Arabi, MA, best-selling author of Power: Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse, explains, "It is common for toxic relationships to not only affect the mind and spirit but also the body. Not only can we become biochemically addicted to the chronic highs and lows of a toxic relationship; trauma takes its toll on our physical well-being."

As Arabi explains, there are numerous physical manifestations commonly seen in survivors of toxic relationships. She continues, "So many people have told me that they have struggled with health issues in the aftermath of a [toxic] relationship. They might gain or lose a significant amount of weight, struggle with sleep issues, or even develop chronic health conditions as a result of the stress. They are also likely to struggle with depression and anxiety, as these relationships can affect our mental health. Our immune system and psyche both take a hit from the impact of the toxicity."

We all encounter toxic people, but not all will remain trapped within the unhealthy dynamic. The term "toxic relationship" probably makes you think of a narcissistic ex or a high-maintenance friend. But bullies, whose power comes from hijacking your emotions, exist everywhere—within families, social groups, the workplace, and out in the world. All too often, it is the sensitive, empathetic personality type that gets pulled into the drama.

Take it from me. When I told my friend Alisha the news that I am an estranged aunt at 30, she burst out laughing. I don't blame her. I never expected to be estranged from anyone, let alone my long-term boyfriend's newborn nephew. But after enduring five-plus years with the baby's parents (think emotional sinkhole versus meeting of the minds), I'll take it. All the snubs, slander, and ostracism later, I truly DGAF by now—but only because I set firm boundaries and emotionally separated from them completely. Their response? I am not welcome in their child's life unless I am a constant fixture in theirs. Hard no.

Before going "no-contact"—a tactic championed by Arabi—I felt drained but never knew what to do. We moved cities twice, explicitly to avoid drama, and once kept our relationship secret for close to a year. The turning point came following a visit to my naturopath when I revealed how physically burdened I had been feeling. Her response was that your brain doesn't know the difference between physical and emotional trauma, the understanding of which straight-up changed my life. For the first time, I experientially understood that taking part in the strained relationships was causing actual strain to my body.

Whether you are covertly guilt-tripped into attendance with no consideration for other demands on your time or you are overtly called names, belittled, or verbally abused, their boundary violations are out of line. At the core of their behavior lies a fundamental disrespect for your autonomy, a failure to grasp others' rights to self-determination.

As a colleague used to say, "You can't rationalize crazy." However, to figure out if a relationship is toxic or not, ask yourself, "Am I harming me to help you?" If the answer is yes, it's time to get serious about the consequences. Any time you subject yourself to harm to appease someone else is unhealthy. And FTR, no one should ask you to sacrifice your wellness.

The most effective way to limit your exposure to pathologically overbearing personality types is to set enforceable boundaries that minimize their access to you. It's better safe than sorry, as long-term emotional abuse is linked to mental health symptoms including panic attacks, anxiety, and depression.

If you are struggling with toxic relationships in your life, know that the emotional war you are waging inside is taking a very real toll on your body. To give you a sense of how serious toxic relationships are for your health, Josh Axe, DC, DNM, CNS, founder of Ancient Nutrition and DrAxe.com, breaks it down for us.

Here are five ways toxic relationships are literally bad for your health, according to an expert.

1. Your physiological fight-or-flight response yields the same biological reaction, whether triggered by an angry mama bear or a malignant narcissist

"Our bodies view both physical and mental stressors as 'threats,' and they try to keep us safe when threatened in the same ways—regardless of the type of stress we are up against," Axe shares.

"When we talk about feeling 'stressed,' we are simply describing our reaction to physical and mental life experiences, which can certainly include toxic relationships that leave us feeling drained," he says. "We experience changes in our bodies when stressed because this is our instinctual way of dealing with serious situations and attempting to overcome them."

2. Even our thoughts, worries, and fears—like those we feel when we rehash past tiffs with toxic people—trigger far-reaching hormonal changes in our bodies

"As humans, we adapted to respond to threats by fighting or fleeing, both literally or figuratively. Some researchers refer to our instinctual stress response as metabolic overdrive due to the hormonal changes that stress causes in our physiology," Axe begins.

This all stems from the hypothalamus, the so-called command center of the brain which is responsible for hormonal balance. As such, it's the area of the brain that responds most to stress.

"Secretions of stress hormones, like adrenaline and cortisol, flood the body during times of stress, whether mental or physical, which has many effects on how we feel and operate," says Axe. "For example, cardio-metabolic changes take place when we are in distress, such as our blood sugar increasing and heart rate becoming more rapid. These can happen whether you are physically in danger or just simply worrying or feeling depressed. Our livers, digestive organs, and reproductive systems also operate differently in response to increased stress hormones in our bloodstream."

3. Emotional distress caused by toxic relationships negatively impacts our health immediately

Insomnia, increased blood pressure, muscle tension, even lowered immune function: These are just some of the potential physiological side effects of an emotionally draining relationship in your life. For this reason, it's worth paying close attention to how the people in your life make you feel—emotionally, yes, but physically as well. It's all connected.

4. The longer your exposure to the emotional distress, the more serious the negative health impact

Axe names chronic anxiety, hormonal imbalances, and gastrointestinal issues as some of the potential long-term effects of such emotional distress.

5. With all this in mind, stress-reduction is a crucial part of any wellness regimen—especially if you're dealing with a toxic relationship

"The bottom line is that you can eat a healthy diet, exercise, and take supplements, but if you're battling chronic stress, you're still going to feel run-down, fatigued, moody, and unwell," says Axe. "When your mind is constantly stressed, it affects the body's ability to regulate inflammation, which is the root of many diseases. This is why it's crucial to find ways to relax and unwind so your body can start to heal and return to normal."

This is especially true if cutting ties from the emotional stressor is not a possibility—with family, for example, things might be a little more complicated. Either way, be proactive about your self-care routine. Journal; work out; go to therapy. Build your good-mood toolkit. Be cognizant of how your mind and body are feeling.

Axe also recommends trying bodywork techniques like acupuncture since it addresses that mind-body feedback loop in one go. "When we receive bodywork—like massages, acupuncture treatments, or chiropractic adjustments—we release certain feel-good hormones, including oxytocin," he says. "Oxytocin and other similar hormones are also known as the 'love hormones' and the 'cuddle chemicals.' These hormones help us feel more connected and relaxed."

Nothing is more important than your wellness, and no one should ever come between you and your health. It can help to think of access to you as being earned. For more assistance in dealing with toxic individuals in your life, Self Care Haven is another excellent resource for survivors of mistreatment and abuse.

Next up: Nine signs your stress is getting out of hand (and what to do about it).

This article is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to be used in the place of advice of your physician or other medical professionals. You should always consult with your doctor or healthcare provider first with any health-related questions.

The thing about being single in 2018 is that you're either on a dating app or you're not. If you fall into the latter category of modern daters, you likely have at least one friend pushing you to give the digital dating experience a try. I speak from experience as the perennially single gal in my friend group. The mere mention of my non-existent dating life had the ability to send many of my close friends and even acquaintances into a frenzy of "Well, have you tried Bumble?" or "Have you heard about Hinge?"

Eventually, I took the plunge and downloaded a virtual catalog of potential suitors in my area (otherwise known as a dating app) a few months ago, and while I thought the hardest part of the process would be getting over the mental hurdle of clicking "Get" in the App Store, creating the perfect dating profile proved to be more arduous than I anticipated. Along with crafting answers about myself that were equal parts honest and funny, I scoured my Instagram profile and camera roll and even delved into the depths of my Facebook profile in search of the most flattering, flirty, and carefree photos of myself—a task that took me far longer than I'm willing to admit.

This is a process Alyssa Dineen, a former fashion stylist based out of New York City, knows all too well. After meeting her boyfriend on Tinder post-divorce (and noticing a lot of profiles in need of some TLC), she decided to use her 20 years of styling experience to help others get back out there by starting her own styling service for online daters, called Style My Profile. She's made it her job to help singles curate a great dating profile and even dress the part when it comes time to venture out on a first date. Naturally, when I heard about her services, I had to pick her brain for her best dating profile tips. Here's what she had to say.

1. The first photo is the most important.

According to Dineen, the first photo that comes up on your profile is the one you should pay the most attention to. Try to find a solo shot of you looking straight on toward the camera. "That to me is the best way to get people to look further," she says.

2. Be sure to have a variety of images on your profile.

Aside from the star photo, which is the first thing eligible singles see when they come across your profile, you'll want to include a variety of additional images on your page. Perhaps that means one picture of you with a group of friends, a few of just you where you can really see your face, and at least one full-body shot "to have everything clear and on the table," Dineen says. She also warns against using too many group shots, because that can be confusing. You don't want people wondering which person you are in a series of images.

3. Your bio should read as open and honest.

"You're trying to convey a lot in just a little paragraph, so what my main advice is to be as honest and open as you can," Dineen tells me. Not giving enough information in a bio is a common mistake she's seen people make. Think about sharing a bit about yourself in a way that reads more personal than a résumé and goes further than simply stating where you live and where you went to college, Dineen advises.

4. Share something unique about yourself.

Don't be afraid to brag about yourself just a little bit and share something that's unique to you on your profile. Instead of sharing something broad like the fact that you like to try new restaurants or watch TV, dig deeper and add a more specific fact about yourself. Maybe you recently traveled to a foreign country and learned something new, or perhaps you just achieved a major accomplishment like publishing a book or running a marathon. These are the details that invite comments and can kick-start a conversation.

5. Run your profile by a trusted friend.

Dineen suggests allowing a friend to look over your profile before you send it out into the world. They might recognize any obvious issues with the flow of your bio or the images you've selected. "It's good to talk about it with someone," she says.

6. Indicate your romantic goals tastefully.

While Dineen is all for expressly indicating whether or not hookups are an option—especially if you're using an app like Tinder that has a bit a reputation for facilitating short-term trysts—she recommends treading lightly when it comes to indicating your romantic goals in your bio. Instead of outright saying that you're looking for marriage, try writing that you're interested in something more long-term or are open to a serious relationship.

7. Avoid leaving negative remarks in your bio.

"I really believe in leaving off anything negative," Dineen says. While you might think this is a given, the dating app pro finds that many people unload bad past dating experiences in their bios by expressing that they're not looking for certain characteristics. "It doesn't make the person look good when they're coming off as negative," she tells me. Instead, stick to the positives. What are you looking for, and what are some of your best qualities?

8. Update your profile from time to time.

Dineen suggests updating your profile at least every six months. This way you can keep your images up to date and continue putting your best foot forward.

What happens when you get to the first date?

I couldn't end my conversation with Dineen without asking for a little fashion advice, especially when it comes to picking out a look for a first date. "I usually say wear something that you feel really good about," she says. "Obviously it should be stylish, but comfort is important."

When it doubt, focus on what you're wearing from the waist up, as the fashion expert points out you'll likely be sitting across from your date whether you're out to dinner, drinks, or coffee. Still not sure what to wear? Get inspired by a few stylish but comfortable first-date outfits below.

Jeans + T-Shirt + Leather Jacket

Midi Dress + Mules + Earrings

Relaxed Jeans + Ruffled Top + Heels

Minidress + Over-the-Knee Boots + Bucket Bag

The words "emotional" and "sensitive" are powerful ones. They can be wielded like swords against your character. But if you stop for a minute to think about it, to question the validity of the historical context or the modern-day connotation, it's easier to understand feeling things isn't a fault. "Once I came to terms with my emotions—once I truly realized and internalized their validity, as well as why I had avoided them for so long—they magically lost their control over me," our wellness editor wrote in a recent essay. She continued, "A more recent development in this personal journey is the realization that we are all 'emotional people.' Every single one of us grapples with this beautifully complex, colorful web of feeling day to day, minute to minute, second to second."

It's true. But there are ways to build yourself a box with which to pull from—tools to work through confrontation and conflict when you know your emotions and sensitivities can run high. I reached out to psychotherapist Emily Roberts, MA, LPC, author of Express Yourself: A Teen Girl's Guide to Speaking Up and Being Who You Are, for a few of her thoughts on the matter. Below, she divulges tips on how to better approach these situations. 

"The idea of agreeing with someone who is pushing your buttons may be maddening, but the thing is, it's effective," suggests Roberts. "It gets them to stop, focus on you, and chill out—diffusing the argument before it becomes a full-blown attack. Try putting yourself in their shoes. Ask yourself why are they acting this way? Even if they're acting irrational, you can understand why they may be feeling this way. Try something like, 'You’re right. That was rude of me,' or 'I can understand why you're upset, that would have made me upset too.'"

"Expressing how you are feeling and what you need can be challenging and awkward—especially with pushy people," notes Roberts. "Before you speak, take a moment to recognize how you are feeling right now. Recognizing how you feel is the first step in logging your emotions, which leads to expressing yourself effectively and confidently."

"Location is key," says Roberts, "so be mindful of where you want to have this conversation. Confrontation is not likely to have a good outcome if done in the middle of a public space or through text message. The best situations are ones where you have some control. Like when taking a walk outside and talking with them privately. You'll have more confidence when you can speak face-to-face and when you don't feel like an audience is watching. Additionally, timing is everything. If you're in a rush or they are having a bad day, it may be a good idea to find a better time for the conversation."

"In every situation, there is a desired outcome, whether ordering a coffee or trying to say no without starting an argument," says Roberts. "So before you speak, clarify your goal. You may not know exactly what to say or how to say it, but if you know what you want, you can start there. What do you hope to gain from this situation? Are you repairing a relationship after a fight? Consider the outcome when planning what to say."

"Preparation is so important for remaining calm during the confrontation," explains Roberts. "Keep control by expressing yourself in short 'I feel' statements. Show the person you're speaking with that you have feelings, too. As simple as it sounds, hardly anyone does it right. And remember, the more you've prepared, the more confident you will feel. Try not to raise your voice and avoid sarcasm."

"Sometimes, if you're over-invested in being 'nice,' you'll feel uncomfortable expressing your needs (and give off insecurity to others)," says Roberts. This is really common among women, as for centuries women have been silenced. It's no wonder women fear negative repercussions if they speak up for themselves. "Remember to be assertive," suggests Roberts.

Next up: How to Say No Without the Guilt, According to a Therapist and Etiquette Coach

This post has been updated by Sarah Yang.

This article is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to be used in the place of advice of your physician or other medical professionals. You should always consult with your doctor or healthcare provider first with any health-related questions.

My ex-boyfriend and I probably should have been in therapy for years before we actually were. In hindsight, it would have saved us a lot of miscommunication and emotional turmoil. It certainly would have made our relationship healthier. It might have even made it end sooner, which could have been a good thing. I don’t believe every relationship has to last forever to be considered “successful,” and to simplify an incredibly complex event, my seven-year-long partnership was an incredible learning experience if nothing else. For that reason, I have no regrets, especially not our decision to go to therapy during those last few weeks. Looking back, I’ve actually come to the understanding that every couple could benefit from attending counseling at some point, even if things aren’t on the rocks. In fact, I intend to bring therapy into every relationship I have moving forward. I know that isn’t a widely shared thought in contemporary American culture, but allow me to explain…

Despite all the progress we continue to make to destigmatize mental healthcare—to prioritize the health of our brains like we do the health of our bodies—couples therapy is still extremely hush-hush. A few months after my boyfriend and I broke up, a friend who was having some trouble with her boyfriend approached me, telling me in a whisper that she’d heard I’d been in couples therapy and was wondering if I’d be comfortable sharing the name of the person we saw. It disappointed me that she didn’t feel at ease asking me openly about that sort of thing, though I understood it: In our culture, seeking a couples counselor is still such an unmentionable thing. We share this false idea that if you’re a couple in therapy, then you’re failing at your relationship, which we as a society consider unacceptable.

“For some reason, people think that they should know how to have a good relationship,” says Illinois-based therapist David Klow, LMFT, author of You Are Not Crazy: Letters From Your Therapist and founder of Skylight Counseling Center. “Yet for most of us, we are still learning how to have conscious romantic relationships. Just as there would be no shame to bring your broken car to the mechanics if you didn't know how to fix it, there is no reason to hesitate to seek help if there are concerns about your relationship.”

Not to mention, most of us don’t even realize what couples therapy actually is. What people don’t realize before trying it for the first time is that the experience isn’t some intimidating purgatory where you air out all your dirty laundry before a judgmental stranger taking secret notes about how screwed up you are. Once you get in the room with your therapist, the atmosphere should feel really natural (and confidential).

“Couples therapy is a process in which two people meet with a trained clinician to find solutions to the problems in their relationship,” explains Klow. “Topics that couples might talk about include how to resolve issues about money, sex, division of household labor, other people, extended family members, or infidelity. A lot of what also takes place has to do with learning how to have healthier arguments and resolve conflicts more effectively.”

My ex and I didn’t have any of the giant, glaring relationship issues that we associate with couples on the verge of a split: Nobody was lying or cheating. Nobody was physically harming anyone. We simply weren’t connecting anymore, and we didn’t know why. On the surface, that didn’t seem like “that big a deal.” That’s part of why my ex was hesitant to go to therapy at all. Plus, having had a bad experience with therapy as a kid, he was wary of sharing our issues with some stranger who was surely no personal expert on love themself. However, once we got in the room with our therapist, it quickly became clear that what our eventual therapist had was a set of helpful communication tools and insight from years of schooling that we simply didn’t. Once we started applying those tools and insights to our relationship outside her office, it gave us an immense amount of clarity about why we weren’t working anymore.

In the end, my ex and decided mutually and compassionately that it would be best not to stay together. In a way, I think going to couples therapy to try to “save” our relationship actually helped us achieve the insight we needed to part ways. And we were better off for it. I think any relationship I have moving forward could benefit from that type of insight, even if there’s nothing going terribly wrong.

“Couples therapy is for everyone,” Klow says. “Your relationship does not have to be on the rocks before you come to couples counseling. In fact, many people try counseling after it’s too late and too much damage has been done to the relationship. Being proactive and resolving issues before they put your relationship in jeopardy would be a wise move.”

It’s a shame that simply asking for help to maintain the health of your relationship isn’t as accepted as, say, seeking a personal trainer to maintain the health of your body. But hopefully, the more proactive each of us is about couples therapy, and the more vocal we are about it, the more that will change.

This article is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to be used in the place of advice of your physician or other medical professionals. You should always consult with your doctor or healthcare provider first with any health-related questions.

We all know one couple that always emits love and light wherever they go. They have either been together for a short time but look head over heels in love, or have been together forever but still appear to be in that infatuation phase. But no union is without flaw, and couples who make it look easy actually work quite hard to make it appear as such. So what exactly are these lovebirds doing that we haven't in the past? Self breaks down three habits other couples can adopt to strengthen their bond and have the most loving relationship possible.

They Bank Solo Quality Time

This seems like a given, right? But it isn't! The most committed couples make sure to bank major quality time alone—penciling it into their schedules as often as possible. And we really do mean alone: without children, without phones, and without work excuses.

They're Always Kind

The ones you love know you well, thus they're the best at pushing all of your buttons. But by remembering your partner's intentions, you can stop any blowup before it begins. It could be misplaced frustration—people tend to take their worst feelings out on those closest to them, after all. And if you have to fight at all, you should always fight fair and recognise when you're unable to. Serving up a low blow or bringing up something from the past are no-fly zones. You always want to aim to be heard and recognised, not to hurt the one you love. Kindness never fails.

They're Always Truthful

If honesty was so easy, we'd never lie! And even when we tell the truth, we sometimes omit things—to avoid getting ourselves in trouble and to not hurt our partner. A truly fulfilling relationship needs to always have transparency present, with all of the details on the table for important moments. Finances, running into your ex, sex—all of these should be topics for discussion that are talked about openly.

Head over to Self for more, and pick up a copy of Getting the Love You Want for a deep-dive into the topic.