Joan Rivers' 15 Funniest Quotes of All Time
After suffering from complications during a routine throat surgery on August 28, Joan Rivers has passed away at 81 years old. Her daughter Melissa Rivers confirmed the icon's death via a statement: "It is with great sadness that I announce the death of my mother, Joan Rivers. She passed peacefully at 1:17 p.m. surrounded by family and close friends."
To honor this legendary woman who succesfully straddled the lines between fashion, entertainment, and comedy her entire career, we've taken a look back at some of her funniest quotes of all time. And there's no better place to look for Rivers' brilliantly hilarious observations of the crazy world around her than her Twitter.
Scroll down to see Rivers' 15 funniest quotes ever. Our thoughts are with her family during this difficult time.
The NY Post reported Beyonce went apartment shopping without Jay Z. For Solange’s sake, I hope the building is a walk up.— Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) July 30, 2014
Miley Cyrus bought $20,000 in Dior lingerie after wearing it at a shoot. She loves it so much, she might start wearing panties every day.— Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) July 28, 2014
Pam Anderson is divorcing Rick Salomon for the second time. I hope the court can decide who gets custody of which STDs.— Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) July 27, 2014
Rosie O’Donnell is returning to The View and I'm so excited. Why should Ellen DeGeneres and Bruce Jenner be the only lesbians on TV?— Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) July 26, 2014
Eva Mendes is having Ryan Gosling’s baby, but I’m not letting it put a kink in my relationship with him.— Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) July 25, 2014
A man reportedly got his finger bitten off at a Beyoncé concert! The shocking twist: It wasn't Jay Z's finger and it wasn't by Solange.— Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) August 27, 2014
Celine Dion’s asking $72 million for her Florida home. For that you get 5 bathrooms and the promise of never hearing the Titanic song again.— Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) August 25, 2014
Today is my waxer's birthday. What do you get for the woman who removes everything?— Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) August 24, 2014
I am definitely going to watch The Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for "Best Special Effects.”— Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) August 23, 2014
I’m not surprised that a man my age has not asked me out in a while. They’ve all been too busy shooting “Expendables 3.”— Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) August 19, 2014
A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger. My first thought was to rescue 2 more, but I don’t want to go through menopause again.— Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) August 6, 2014
Sarah Palin got a ticket for driving 63 in a 45 mph zone. So dumb! Afterwards she said, "I can't believe I was going twice the speed limit!"— Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) August 4, 2014
Justin Bieber is going to be the new face of Calvin Klein underwear. We've gone from Marky Mark to Douchey Douche.— Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) August 2, 2014
It was so hot in Rome when I was there this summer, if Ashley Olsen's thighs could touch, they would have been stuck together.— Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) August 1, 2014
Robin Thicke’s new CD is not selling well. Apparently it's not just Paula Patton who doesn't give a crap what he has to say.— Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) July 24, 2014