Today's fellow, the lovely and hysterical Ben Lyons, has all of these attributes and more. The crazy busy Lyons (he's the film critic for the E! Network, appearing on shows like The Daily Ten and E! News, a frequent guest host of "The Big Show" on 710 ESPN radio here in Los Angeles, and hosts the weekly event/party Smashtime Saturdays at the Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas, phew) took a moment from his appointment-packed life to share his thoughts on the above outfits. Read on for his take on celebrity street style...
1. Vanessa Hudgens
First up is the fly slimmy in the Cleopatra sandals. This whole get up has its ups and downs. She looks good, but slightly grumpy as well. If I saw her while getting a cup of coffee, or at an antique store, I'd probably kick it to her, and most likely fail miserably. She looks like the sort of girl who goes to antique stores just to browse, looking for discounts on stuff to put in her apartment (which is surprisingly large for a girl who doesn't work).
I'm not feeling the Smurf-colored fingernails and toes, but as a wise woman once told me, "You can't match your outfit and your nail polish everyday." Never thought of it that way, but I think it makes sense and is relevant here. Like hottie number three [Rachel Bilson], the belt is pretty cool, however her jeans (and basically the whole situation) look like she is trying waaaaay too hard. I was the king of friendship bracelets back in the day, but they are a little corny here. I'd rather see those hoop things that girls wear like 20 of at a time. The shirt half-tucked in is a great look and, even though it's screaming high-end vintage, the print is a bold move and I respect that. She rocks it with swagger, which is the key. The bag's really an afterthought, which is the way it should be. If I did hook up with her though, we could go to breakfast the next day with her wearing this and I would hope to run into people I know so they could see me with the West Hollywood Chiquita Banana.
2. Gwyneth Paltrow
The girl in the middle is rocking "Mom Jeans" and a jacket that seems way too small on her. If I shook her hand, I feel like her sleeve would get stuck on her elbow. Am I bugging out? The scarf is also pretty foolish. Is she even wearing a shirt? Those flats are desperate, I call this type of shoes the "Air Publicists." All that's missing is the headset, clipboard, chip on the shoulder, and sense of entitlement. You see PR chicks rocking these on red carpets and hotel press days and it says, "I HAVE to be here or otherwise I'd be in bed cuz it's cool to be 'over' going out, yet still go out over 250 nights a year." Get your shit together; you're wearing house slippers in public.
3. Rachel Bilson
Hands down the flyest of the three is the young lady on the far right. She has a look about her that says, "I have my shit together...kind of." She's real sexy today; she wants to play it off but she just can't. There's nothing foolish about what's going on here, except maybe those 'Kanye for girls' retro Ray Bans. I'm just not really into how that style of sunglass has come back SO HARD, for chicks and dudes, and the green frames just feel out of place. Black would have been a better fit.
I'm feeling the boots though with the jeans, and the belt actually does hold up her pants, which is nice on girls. The scarf is cool and I don't even mind the bag, which stands out against all the dark colors happening. It ads some high end fashion to a pretty casual, low key stroll down the street. I just want to hug her and make out with her on the couch. The highlight of the whole thing is how the jacket, after a closer look, doesn't close down the middle, but is folded over to the side. That's fresh. The cashmere sneaking out from the coat is clutch too. I would 100% not be embarrassed to introduce a girl to my mother as my girlfriend if she was wearing this. Well-played girl...
Photo of Rachel, INFgoff, Photo of Vanessa, X17.