Celebrity Street Style/May 24th

Celebrity Street Style/May 24th
Prepare your feisty retorts, dear readers, because we have our monthly installment of A Guy's Opinion ready for your reading pleasure. Today's story plumbs the brain of Brian, 27, who boldly gives his thoughts on everything from sheer shirts to self-tanner.

Men and fashion: Two words that are usually only found together because they share space on the cover of this month's Cosmo. So why would a guy's opinion matter? I mean, girls dress for other girls, right? Maybe not entirely--I'd say you dress to grab attention from guys and make a statement about yourself to other girls. While most guys are oblivious to fashion, we occasionally listen to that statement. Here's what I'm hearing from these girl...

1. Rachel Bilson
I don't know how many layers she is wearing on top, but I can tell you she's not wearing a bra. Even if pasties had been employed, my eyes are still drawn to that chest veil. It's like a tinted window of lingerie goodness. It's interesting but not slutty; it lets us know you have the goods but you're not giving it all away. The gold-encrusted Blu Blockers are rockin'. They're aloof, but fun. Ladies, can you PLEASE stop buying weathered old Bag Lady bags-they make you look like (surprise)-BAG LADIES! And unless she's walking to her niece's Indian Princess meeting, the Pocahontas moccasins are just an odd choice. All being said, I'm still a guy and this looks good. If that grande latte she has in her hand gets her caffeinated enough to make the journey out of Jamestown and over to my teepee, I'll let her in.

2. Reese Witherspoon
You can't go wrong with all black, unless, you buy all of it at Target in the Pre-Pubescent Boys' section. [Editor's Note: Interesting name for a department] Although it looks like the overall coordination is there, it's just not flattering to her body. The jeans look like they're hiding something a la "The Crying Game." Her skin tone is too pale for the rest of her body to be painted in black. The oversized, bug-eyed sunglasses are a bit ubiquitous at this point, but for good reason, as they still do the trick. This outfit is telling me that she's fashionable but has a boyfriend. Or maybe a girlfriend. Either way, I'm out.

3. Haylie Duff
Somewhere along the way I heard that everything matches with white. That is, everything except for a New Jersey spray tan. I'm thinking of getting into fashion design after seeing this outfit, since apparently if you sew white linen restaurant napkins together, you can sell it as evening attire. I think I've seen this dress before--the only difference was that the dress was made of red latex and was sold on Hollywood Blvd. with a whip and chain. And what's with the awkward silver and gold accessories? Are you the winner? No. Second place? Not quite. Maybe you should have accessorized with "honorable mention."

4. Cameron Diaz
Cool shoes. Silk scarves usually remind me of over-cultured, leather-skinned French women, but it looks good with this ensemble since it is the only point of interest. She's not going to turn any heads on a runway, but she also isn't going to look back at this picture of herself in ten years and wonder why she thought it was a good idea to go shopping in the Cowboys and Indians section of Toys 'R' Us (ahem, #1). The only thing I don't like about this outfit is the oversized bag. Unless you have another change of clothes or a deli sandwich in there, why do you need so much stuff with you at all times? To me, big bags on girls always means that girl has big baggage. Isn't that annoying to have to carry around all the time? Maybe it's because you want to keep your arms in shape but don't have time to exercise--the new 6-minute biceps workout!

Photo of Cameron, courtesy of www.x17online.com
Photo of Reese, courtesy of www.splashnews.com

Next Up:

EXPLORE: Events, Cameron Diaz, Rachel Bilson, Reese Witherspoon, Chloe, Minnetonka, Miu Miu
LEAVE A COMMENT

Comments

See More Stories

loading